Skip to content

FF : I Am…FREE Part 10

June 28, 2012





“I’m so sorry…” he whispered.

Arnav was terrified to move…

She lay limp in his arms, completely passed out…


Sliding an arm underneath her, he lifted her exhausted body delicately…

Laying her on the bed, he covered her up with the blanket, trying desperately to avert his eyes…

He knew he should leave, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her…

Her sweet lips were partially open.

Her chest rising and falling with each soft breath.

Watching her was his greatest pleasure.

She was so full of life.

Even in her slumber, thoughts and emotions ran rampant across her face.

Khushi frowned, her brows pulling together, as if she dreamt of something that upset her…

With a fingertip he stroked the perfectly formed brows until she slept peacefully again.

Moving nearer, he was surprised when she turned closer him and threw her leg over the side of the bed….

For a small thing she had always moved around the bed.

It brought him back to the time they first shared a bed at the Gupta house…

He had woken with her lying close to him…

She had kicked, squirmed, scooted closer and finally draped her slender leg over his, and rested one hand on his chest…

She hadn’t changed.

She was always innocent.

It was he who had now changed.
Enough.

He knelt beside the bed…running his fingers along her arm…

A shiver of ecstasy slid across his flesh, raising goose bumps on his skin….

His mind wandered to what they almost could have done…

He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm firmly…

She automatically spun around and now draped her opposite arm over his shoulder…

He chuckled…”If I weren’t here you would have fallen off the bed by now Jaan…”

The last thing he wanted was to wake her.

Would she remember anything of what he said to her tonight?

Would all hell break loose come tomorrow?

Would there be an even greater distance between them because of this?

Arnav gently replaced her arm beside her, and tried to stand up…

Khushi instantly moaned in frustration and flung her arm back over his shoulder…

Tears filled his eyes…”I won’t hurt you again Khushi…I only ask your forgiveness…Please Khushi…”

Khushi released a sorrowful whimper.

Arnav gently caressed her face, needing to chase all her bad dreams away.

“shhh…relax….shhhh….”

Arnav rested his head on the bed and stay by her side the entire night…


……………………………..


Wakefulness came with a price.

Khushi’s temples throbbed.

Her head felt as if it would explode at any moment.

Smacking her lips, she badly needed a drink of something.

Her mouth was so dry she doubted a gallon of water could satisfy her.

What the hell happened last night?

She squinted.

Before the ray of sunlight spearing through the slit in her bedroom curtains could blind her, she pinched her eyelids closed.

In the quiet darkness that followed it felt as if the room was spinning.

But it couldn’t be.

Although she lay facing away from the window, the light was causing her whole body to throb….

She buried her face in what she thought was the pillow.

Breathing in the familiar scent, she relaxed momentarily…

Her hands began to trace along the ‘pillow’ beneath her head…

With her eyes locked shut, she couldn’t quite make out was what was she lying on.

While she mentally shook off the lingering effects of slumber, she hugged and squirmed against the firm and soothing pillow, seeking comfort.

“Relax Khushi…go back to sleep…”

The deep, sultry voice made the air in her lungs freeze.

No. No. No.

Please let her be asleep, caught in some horrible dream like all the others that plagued her night after night.

Better judgment told her to remain silent, but she wasn’t one to follow her own advice.

“Arnavji?” she croaked.

A warm palm slid across her face, and something stirred within her.

The action sent her hormones screaming.

This was not a dream.

It was real.

Arnav was real.

That something that stirred inside her was real.

Really. Really. Real.

Gauging by the way she was laying, she was facing him…

She shifted her body ever so slightly and felt no barrier between her skin and the sheet that covered her—she was in trouble.

In fact, she wore not a stitch of clothes.

“Yes…It’s me Khushi…Please don’t afraid…” His familiar voice sent a sense of dread slamming into the excitement her wayward body was hell-bent on experiencing.

With lightning speed, her pulse jumped and raced.

Khushi swallowed, but the cottony taste lingered, refusing to get past the golf ball-size knot in her throat.

Afraid to open her eyes, she fought desperately to dismiss the obvious.

What had happened!?!?!

She refused to listen to her thoughts…

She did NOT want to pull closer to him…

Her body was NOT warring with her mind to widen her legs.

And the throb in her nipples was NOT a sign that she wanted him.

Scattered snippets of the night floated aimlessly in her head, but try as she might portions of the night remained missing, like how she got to her room.

Then the smash of the alcohol bottle shattered her memories…

Khushi groaned aloud.

“Khushi? Are you okay?” His large hand smoothed over her forehead, brushing away her hair as his fingertips danced across her skin.

“Can I get you anything? A drink?”

Nooo… No more to drink.

A gun might be a better choice, because she couldn’t bear to open her eyes and face the mess she’d created.

A shiver slithered across her skin.

Her stomach rolled…

“Khushi?…”

“Don’t…”

Inhaling a shaky breath, she opened her eyes and stared directly into his dark brown ones…

His tousled hair, concerned eyes, and seductive lips made her pause…but not for long…

She sat up fast causing her head to spin…

Arnav quickly rose to sit beside and steady her…

Even though she was sitting, she felt as though she were falling…

Her moans were driving nails into Arnav’s veins…

The sheet fell away from her torso…

“Oh…oh God…I feel…”

Arnav rested his hand on her bare stomach…”Shhh…just breathe…you drank a lot of raw alcohol…you weren’t used to it…the feeling will pass…just…” he leaned closer…”just listen to my voice and breathe…”

Several worry lines furrowed his forehead, but soon softened as she did as he asked…

He felt her tummy rise and fall as she took deep breaths…

Glancing down, he saw her breasts again…

“Oh no no no…” he thought, but he couldn’t look away…”Oh God…why? why have I hurt you so much…when all along, it was YOU I wanted…”

When her eyes finally opened, they were spilling over with tears…

She felt his hands on her…

She remembered his mouth gripping hers…

But what good were these feelings now?

Had he not been so stubborn, their love could have blossomed…

They could have worked together, united against Shyam…

Their marriage may have stood a chance…

Sorrow and despair now torrented through her body…

She hurriedly climbed away from him, grabbing a pillow and using it as a shield to hide her nakedness…

Inching her chin higher, she tried to reclaim some of her dignity…”Please…please leave…I need to get dressed…”

“Khushi…Please listen…” muscles bunched, rippled beneath his sunkissed skin as he moved across the bed and stood before her…”Khushi, I need you…I need US! Don’t push me away! Can we forget the past…move on from here…”

His plea rang in her ears…

The sob building in her throat nearly undid her…

Squeezing her lips together, an attempt to hide her emotions, she shook her head…”I…I can’t…Every time I close my eyes I see your anger…your hatred…your merciless eyes as you condemned me…”

Broken sobs began to creep out…”I don’t want to live with that memory in my mind each time I look at you…”

Arnav couldn’t take it…

He marched towards her…”Please…don’t do this…Please Khushi…I’m sorry…I will say those words every day for the rest of my life…”

“Stop it Arnavji! You have hurt me beyond repair!” She could no longer mask her pain…

He opened his mouth ready to say something but Khushi lifted a hand to silence him…

“NO! No more! Please! My heart can’t take it again!”

Defeated.

Arnav took one last long look at her and strode out of the room.

Khushi slowly treaded to the bathroom, and stepped in a hot shower…

She felt cold.

Even under the heat of the water, she felt a chill that ran deep into her core…

She sucked in breath and finally let her tears overtake her…

“Why…do I have…have to love him…?!” she breathed into the mist…”I want to trust love, but is it enough?”










2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 28, 2012 9:19 pm

    This makes me want to cry…so I read I can't let her go to cheer me up 🙂 Sonia x

  2. November 18, 2013 3:18 pm

    nice

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: