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FF : I Am…FREE Part 20

August 7, 2012


“I know very well how to react when someone strikes…”
Her words continued to tumble around in his thoughts…
Their mouths sprung apart…
Khushi’s eyes were closed, her lips trembled as she panted…
“Khushi…” Arnav’s voice was ragged…”My heart loves you. I love you. I love everything about you. I can’t imagine anything better than waking up with you every morning. I love how much you make me laugh. I love how you’ve taught me how to have fun. I love how you’ve shown me what a sense of family means. What friendships mean. I love how you understand family issues and try to do everything in your power to make them happy… “
Tears began to glint at the sides of her eyes and run down her cheeks…
Arnav held in a cry and pulled her closer…”K…Khushi…I hate that I have put you through so much sadness and loss, but I WILL change that…I will make you happy…I swear that I will…”
If Arnav’s mouth weren’t so damn dry and his heart weren’t beating a million miles an hour, he might have thought he was actually dreaming.
“I have made so many heartless choices throughout my life…But this time…this time my heart ALONE makes this decision… This time I’m choosing you…over anyone else …”
As calm as he tried to appear on the outside, on the inside his desperation was yelling….”This Woman has to be MINE!”
Holding her close, he lifted his hand and planted it on the back of her head…
He brought her close enough to stare into her eyes and feel her stuttered breath on his lips.
“Tell me who hurt you…” he whispered…
“Y..you…you coudln’t do anything abou…”
Arnav almost growled…”I CAN, AND I WILL!”
She opened her eyes and tried to focus on him…”You would confront someone who hurt  me?”
“In a fucking heartbeat!!!”
Khushi stared…and a sudden ray of hope began to shine from her eyes…
Arnav’s gaze widened as he saw it…”Khushi…I would do ANYTHING for you…”
“He would do anything for me?” she thought…”anything…anything?”
And that very second, the light in her eyes began to dim…”yes…you would to anything…anything to help? Or anything to hurt!”
Arnav saw her anger rising…”Khushi…No…NO! …”
“I never thought I would feel love…such strong love…until I met you… You make me feel so much…. Make me feel things I’ve never felt before. ..And it’s scary…”
Arnav gently shook his head, dreading to hear anymore…
“But this…this love or this intensity…It is killing me as much as it is healing me…it’s consuming me…I need to be free…of you…of everything…”
 “No Khushi…What we had before this wasn’t love…sure I loved you, but it was toxic…I won’t let that happen again! I swear to you I won’t!” I WILL make you happy…and I will spend the rest of my life making sure you don’t regret choosing me.”
Before she could respond, He kissed her with passion, heart and fire; he sucked it down like a narcotic.
Drugged on the taste of her, the feel of her, this woman whom he loved…
He broke the kiss to murmur…”This is love…THIS love, is freeing…”
Khushi was stunned to silence.
All she could do was stare.
Arnav gently let her go…
But he didn’t move away…
Khushi took a deep breath…”W…what do we…tell…”
Arnav saw the worry in her eyes…”we will tell them to mind their own business…that this is our life…that our decisions are our own…they love us…they will understand…”
……………………
‘You did what!?!”
Arnav eyes narrowed as he glared at NK.
Khushi stood silently behind Arnav as the family stood before them.
Nani had been forcefully adamant  about everyone leaving them alone to talk, but when they didn’t surface until the next day, the entire could easily guess what had happened…
Nk took a step forwards and started intently at Khushi…”Khushiji…look at me…”
Khushi slowly lifted her gaze…
“Look!” Nk  shouted as he turned to Nani…”Look how scared she is!”
Khushi turned to Arnav, expecting him to cast anger-filled eyes on her…
Instead, Khushi felt him gently wrap his arm around her, and instead of pulling her towards him, he stepped closer to her…
He kept his line of sight fixed straight ahead…
“I know that she’s afraid…she’s afraid of how everyone will react…” Arnav’s eyes wandered to his Di…
“Chote, we love you both, but we all saw the pain Khushiji was going through…and now this…” she took a breath…”I just don’t know whether you both have thought this through…”
Nani nodded…”Khushi Bitiya, we need to talk to you. In private.”
Private.
The thought of facing everyone without Arnav at her side was scaring her…
Arnav felt her body stiffen and tried to intervene…”Not a chance Nani…I don’t…”
“Bhai…let her go and talk to them, you need to come with us…”
Arnav’s eyes shot death rays towards Akash…”NO Akash…We’re trying to salvage our marriage! Why can’t you all see that!”
“Chote…” Anjali’s tear filled voice broke through…”Please…we all need time to understand this…”
Arnav’s eyes weren’t soft, or gentle…
He stormed his gaze over to Anjali…”Di, If I could fix what has happened to you I would…but I can’t. What I CAN do is support you, help you, make sure you are safe and surrounded by family…”
His voice shook…”Do you know how lost I’ve felt!!! Knowing that BOTH you and my wife were suffering!?! I’ve done all I can for you Di! If I could do more I would! But for Khushi…I thought everything was OVER! I thought that I’d lost for good! Now, I finally…finally have a chance to make things right! Why do you all want to take that from me!?
“I don’t…WE don’t…but Chote…Let us talk with you and Khushi…you both need our support as a couple, and individually…”
Khushi could see Anjali losing strength and quickly spoke up…”Ofcourse Di…I will come with you…”
Arnav instantly turned to her…”Khushi?…what are you…”
Her voice went quiet…”Look at her…she’s not coping either , you need to think of her…”
Akash approached Arnav and laid a hand on his arm…”Bhai, come…”
Khushi made a move to walk away
“Wait…” Arnav said firmly…
Again, he stepped closer to her, not pulling her …
He held her close and whispered in her ear…”I love you…remember that…”
As they were led away from each other, their heads  turned back until both were out of sight…
……………………

As Khushi sat down, Anjali took her hand…
“Khushiji, I truly want happiness for you, and for Chote…but after everything…I just don’t understand…”
“I too feel that way…” Nani spoke up…”Are you both grasping at the last strings of this relationship? I don’t want Chote hurt if you leave him…and I definitely don’t want you hurt after all he  had put you through…”
Payal sat down next to her and said quietly…”Khushi, we want you to go home, stay with Buaji and Amma…just to calm yourself…to give yourself time to heal from what has happened…to be in an environment where there will be no memories plaguing you…”
Khushi remained quiet.
She wanted to cry, but nothing would come.
Her chest was pounding, but it didn’t feel like her own heart…  it was Arnav’s…he had left his heart with her, just as she sent hers with him…
 “Khushiji?” 

Anjali’s voice broke her trance.

“I…I don’t know…I don’t think that is the right…”

“Khushi, it is the right thing. And now that Arnavji is at his office, we think you should go now. So that there is no further trauma for you…”

“Are they right?…” Khushi asked herself…”Should I be away from him? So sort out what is going on by myself?”

Nani took Khushi by the arm as she began to stand up…”It’s alright Bitiya, the car is ready to take you…”

Khushi was still being tortured by her clouded thoughts that she didn’t hear what Nani had said.

A stinging sensation jolted her back to the present.

“Khushiji? Are you alright?”

She looked over to Anjali who was holding her injured arm…

Eye wide, Khushi quickly responded…”I’m fine. Completely fine.”

Payal hugged her sister goodbye as Khushi sat in the back seat of the SUV.

“Wait…” 

Khushi’s eyes darted back and forth…”Am I leaving now?!”

“Buaji and Amma are waiting…” Payal smiled sadly…

As the car slowly pulled out of the driveway, Khushi felt a trememdous ache inside her…

As if hanging in limbo, she didn’t feel that her home was anywhere…anywhere but where her heart lay.




………………………



“They’re telling her WHAT!”

Arnav’s voice bellowed throughout his office…

Akash had driven him to AR Designs.

“Why the Fuck did you bring me here then!?! I need to stop her!”

Akash moved to stand in front of the doorway.

“No Bhai…I too, think it’s the right decision…”

Arnav recoiled, feeling now betrayed by his whole family.

“I know I hurt her Akash. I BLOODY KNOW IT! But we are trying to overcome all of this!”

“Bhai didn’t you see it? She’s afraid!”

Arnav stormed forwards and stood almost nose to nose with his brother.

“I saw her fear. But it is NOT for me. She isn’t telling me something. Something that happened to her. And I don’t want her in a place where I can’t protect her! She is to stay with me…Now get out of my way!”

As Arnav made an attempt to pass, Akash’s phone began to ring…

“Yes Payal?”

Arnav glared in fury…

Akash hung up and held gaze with Arnav…”She’s gone home Bhai.”

PRE CAP- 

“She’s gone home Bhai…”
Arnav’s rage began to bubble over…”The HELL she has! I’ll stop her before she gets there…”
Slamming his palm on Akash’s chest, he pushed past and headed down the stairs…
But before he could exit, he spotted something…
A flash of Green…
Sidestepping to the left, he  opened a door to one of his downstairs offices quickly strode inside…
3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 7, 2012 6:36 am

    loved the whole piece, but this struck a cord with me:'"I saw her fear. But it is NOT for me. She isn't telling me something. Something that happened to her. And I don't want her in a place where I can't protect her! She is to stay with me…Now get out of my way!"I cant wait to see what happens next.naina aka warriorprincess

  2. August 7, 2012 5:25 pm

    Oh my.. So intense.. Khushiiiiii, open up! Tell Arnav what happened!!! Can't wait for the next update.. Thanks for all the PMs, love.. Pollytrolly IF

  3. August 7, 2012 10:57 pm

    glad to see u updating againintense update, eagerly await the next nailbiting chapter

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