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OS : We Missed The Moment Part 5 (Conclusion)

November 1, 2012

“You…you want me to…to let you go?”
Khushi’s voice was reverbing through the ventillator…”Yes…Please…”
“No…NO! NO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! There is no way in HELL I”m going to do that! Khushi I love you! I need you!!!”
She tried to weakly squeeze his hand…”No Arnavji…you don’t need me…I know you love me, but I’m not what you need…I’m only in your way Arnavji…”
Arnav was now desperately in tears…”n…N..NO…Kh…Khushi I can’t…”
“I know it’s hard now…” her own eyes were pouring out her heart’s pain…”I know…but what we have had…has been…interesting…and oh so beautiful…”
Now sobbing loudly, Arnav leant closer to her…”I can’t do this Khushi! I can’t breathe without you!!”
He heard a strangled whimper try to release, but she held it back…”B…but…I can’t breathe with you…”
Arnav shook his head fast…”NO, Khushi I will do better! I won’t focus on anything other than you! I swear! I promise! You have to believe me Khushi! I NEED YOU! I’m not letting you go…”
“Arnav Singh Raizada…you have many focuses…one being your family…the other being your work…there is no room for me Arnavji…”
He pulled violently at his collar, his own breathing stifled…”I’m not letting you go…no…”
“I have let go of you…”
Arnav released her hand and stood up…
His hands roughly raked through his hair and he rubbed his eyes hard…”This can’t be happening…NO! This can’t be happening!!!”
When he heard her hitched breathing, he sped back towards her…
“Please Khushi…this has all JUST happened…don’t do this right now… Please”
“Arnavji…I don’t think I will survive without you…but I certainly won’t survive WITH you…I can’t be with you…I have to protect my heart…thankyou for saving me…but I don’t think i’ll make it next time…”
Arnav slid his hands beneath her back and lifted her up…
He heard her breathy protests but held her close against his body unrelenting…
“No Khushi, I can’t do this…I can’t…Without you there’s no place I will belong! I’ll have an empty heart! This can’t end like this!”
Using whatever strength she had, she put her hand on his chest, over his heart…
“Just because WE end, doesn’t mean life does…There are so many bittersweet memories that we have…we will always have them…
Everyday we had good and bad…and one day we will be able to look back and smile at the memories…but right now…” choking back a cry…”right now, it’s okay to cry, because it’s hard to part…”
Forsaking all propriety, he began to weep…
His heart was severely refusing any thought of NOT being with Khushi…
“I…I caaann’t Khushi…I can’t…pl…please…PLEASE I’m begging you…my wife…” he buried his head against her neck…”I can’t lose you, my wife…I can’t…”
Barely holding, Khushi began to tap her hand on his heart…”It’s so hard to be strong…I know…but you have to know, that I will never stop loving you…you are the only one I think of…and on the days you feel low, or alone…know that I’m thinking of you, praying for your happiness and for your strength…just like I was during my fast…”
His one arm held her body close, and his other hand now rested on top of hers as she kept her palm firmly planted on his heart…
“I was wrong…I have been so wrong…I’ll never be able to put my heart back together again…”
“Your heart has been safe all along Arnavji…it’s been with me…”
He looked down at her hand then back up to her eyes…
“I’m giving it back to you now…whole…Find what’s been missing in your life…”
Arnav realized why she had been tapping his heart…
He yanked her hand away, holding it firmly at her side…
“I DON’T WANT IT! I don’t want it! I HAVE NO HEART WITHOUT YOU! NO KHUSHI! TAKE IT BACK!”
Now feeling a huge release hit her, she burst into tears…
“N…nn…no Arnavji…It doesn’t belong to me anymore…”
Pulling her tighter, he realized that his pleas were no longer reaching her…”It is YOURS!!! My heart is yours! I trust you with mine, PLEASE give me another chance to protect yours!!! PLEASE!”
Arnav felt her shaking her head…”It’s not goodbye Arnavji…it’s just the end of our story…we can always reread it…rethink it…re-love it…”
“One more chance! I swear…” his eyes locked with hears…”I will hold your heart safely! I will hold our love more dear to me than ANYTHING…”
“A…arn…arnavji…you dropped my heart a long time ago…it has been broken ever since…and i’ve slowly been picking up the pieces…I began to ache in places I didn’t even know I had inside me…I began to feel as small and as insignificant as humanly possible…I went  to bed every night going over every detail  wondering what I did wrong…”
“Khushi…Khu…Khushi…”
 “With you, I did find happiness for a brief moment . Every now and then, little pieces of my soul came back…I don’t feel that any of our time was wasted…”
Arnav felt his own heart break…
Only this time, he felt it shatter inside his own body…
And the pain, was acute…
He never realized how unconditionally Khushi had loved him…
But now, now that she had released herself from him…He was now, fending for himself…by himself…
“Khushi…I…I am…so…so deeply sorry…”
She didn’t reply…
He looked up and saw that she had fallen asleep…
All the months of stress, pressure and pain had now been lifted off her…
And she was free…

10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 1, 2012 7:39 am

    i hate goodbyes…

  2. November 2, 2012 2:47 am

    Now sobbing loudly, Arnav leant closer to her…"I can't do this Khushi! I can't breathe without you!!"He heard a strangled whimper try to release, but she held it back…"B…but…I can't breathe with you…"Loved the part where Kushi said they could re-read, rethink and re-loveArnav crying & begging made me sadKushi crying with her pain made me even more sadWhat a fab update Undercoverhappy

  3. November 2, 2012 5:20 am

    Did she fell asleep/faint/nomore? I'm confused but I can nvr accept them apart. You just made me cry with this conclusion!!!!Blablabla_mo7 IF

  4. November 2, 2012 6:11 pm

    This is so emotionally draining!! I love the way you tell stories and the unexpected twists you have! can't wait for the next update of memories!! Sonia x

  5. November 3, 2012 11:53 pm

    I have been crying for the past hour reading the whole of it =(this is sooo saddd!!!i wish people could just realize the importance of others at the right time to avoid all this regret *tears*

  6. November 4, 2012 6:40 am

    Loved the update.

  7. June 16, 2013 1:10 am

    Thank-you for your note. I am ashamed to say that until I read your note just now, I was one of the idiots who thought that those who tried to commit suicide were cowards and selfish. Yes, I knew and know that depression is a debilitating disease. I know it can wreak havoc in the lives of all touched by it, and their families, too. I also knew that suicide is a plea for help. What I didn't realize is that the plea of help is marked by a dread so powerful of being helpless, that one is prepared to end their lives. I mean, I knew depression would make one act like that. But like I said, until now, I always thought that people who try or commit suicide are on a power trip. Because they do not think about the people they leave behind. But now I am so ashamed of myself for thinking like this. How can these poor helpless souls think of anyone when they cannot think even of themselves. In fact, when I was reading this and Kushi was popping the pills in her mouth, I was thinking about how weak and cowardly she was!! I am so sorry to all the souls who are going through this or have gone through this. I am so ashamed of myself. I hope God forgives me. I can't stop crying for Arnav, for Kushi, selfishly for myself! OMG! Thank-you for opening my eyes. I don't know why I felt I was big enough to judge anyone! OMG! I am so sorry!IF kbtr

  8. November 17, 2013 4:11 pm

    omg ..this is really a brilliant piece of writing …
    amazing yaar…
    awesome……………awesome…………awesome……

  9. January 29, 2014 12:33 pm

    can you please ..continue this story dear..and this time don’t let her forgive him so easily ..
    plz continue

  10. MIT permalink
    October 16, 2014 7:45 am

    So wonderful story….

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