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FF : I Feel Everything Part 42

July 20, 2013
As Khushi began to wake up the next morning, she felt tense and irritable…
Arnav was already awake…
Her kicking and twitching had woken him up early…
He smiled as she stretched her arm across his face and made a soft yawing screech…
Finally she turned to him and scowled…
“Ohh…what’s with the grumpy face?”
Not bothering to disguise her bad mood, she glowered at him…”You! That’s why!”
Pushing out of his embrace, she rolled away…
“Me?” his voice smiled even as he tried to keep a straight face…”What did I do?”
“It’s what you DIDN’T do!” she fumed…
“Ah…I see…”
He pursed his lips realizing why she was so  moody…
She had slept so fitfully because of the state of arousal that still tortured her body…
Gently reaching over, he flattened his hand on her stomach and pulled her onto her back as he draped his leg between hers…
“I said I’d make it up to you…”
Pushing at his chest, she continued to scowl at him…”I don’t WANT you to…” she shivered and growled out a moan…”Ugh…I feel so…argh!”
Arnav was now shining a broad smile down at her…”Whoa, Where did THIS feistiness come from?!”
Her heartbeat accelerated as she began to get worried…”Oh…Oh…I’m…I didn’t mean…I…”
Arnav shook his head…”No…No fear around me…remember?”
Khushi paused…”I don’t mean to be upset, but…i’m feeling…I feel…UGH! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!!!!!”
Arnav wanted to put an end to her frustration as soon as possible, but he was loving her sprite behavior…
Her shapely body began to squirm beneath his…
Her fragrance, light and alluring, teased his senses…
“Damn…” he breathed out…
Khushi gave him a prim look…”What?!”
“Why did I resist you for so long? There’s more chemistry between us than in a scientists laboratory…”
Khushi lips finally twitched in a smile…”Resist me!? THAT was you resisting me? You made my life so hard at your office!”
“I could not keep away from you…I wasn’t strong enough…And I’m a pretty strong person…But you…you completely weaken me…”
An annoying trilling began to spark in the room…
“Oh hell no!” Arnav said as he grabbed Khushi’s phone…
She held back a giggle as Arnav answered the call…
But before he could even speak, the voice on the other end turned his eyes red with rage…
“Khushiji? May I please speak with you?”
Arnav was about to roar at what he heard, but his eyes wandered back to Khushi, who was laying beside him, smiling softly…
Using every possible shred of control that he could gather, he hit a button, and the call ended…
Khushi’s expression grew troubled…”What…? Who was…?”
Lifting his hand, he stroked her cheek with his fingertips…
He watched her eyes flash with confusion…
He could see that she was finally feeling safer around him once again, and he couldn’t risk her losing that…
“Khushi…um…”
“Who…?”
As his eyes bore into hers, he heard her broken question and quickly made a painful choice…to lie.
“It was the wrong number…some idiot on the other end asking for a grocer on the other side of town…”
Closing her eyes briefly, she pushed out a harsh breath…”oh…you had me all nervous…”
Reaching up, she was about to touch her warm hand to his face, but paused…
Arnav’s heart froze and he quickly tried to extinguish the tension…”Well…the ‘air’ is certainly very lucky…”
She furrowed her eyebrows…’what the?”
He glanced in the direction of her hand…
“You keep reaching up and touching the air…I’m just saying it’s pretty damn lucky…”
A slow smile crept over her face as Arnav leaned down and pressed a kiss to her palm…
Instantly, she slid her fingers over his cheek, and up into his hair…”Sorry…”
He shook his head slightly…”It’s okay…emotional healing takes time…”
“It won’t take that long if you keep making me laugh…”
He smiled down at her…
But inside, his emotions were raging…
His fury and vengeance was becoming a separate person ready to blast out from inside him…
“How DARE he…” he thought…”How DARE he call her again…”
The possibility of more harm coming to her made his hand shake…
His entire body tightened, so much so that he couldn’t conceal it from Khushi…
She narrowed her gaze…”Arnavji? What’s…”
“I’m just…I’m…” he took a breath to control his emotions…”I’m hungry. All the memories of watching you eat…you know…”
“What?”
Moving away from her, he sat back on the bed…
“Why don’t you get up and come have breakfast with me?”
Khushi sat up so fast that her hair flew over her face and shoulders like a mane…”Really!? You make me wait all night! Then act like you’re going to make up for it! And then…UGH!” her fury was evident in her tight voice and flashing eyes…
Arnav flinched, uncomfortable because her complaint was completely justified…
He knew he was running hot and cold, but what she didn’t realize was that his effort to remain calm were causing him physical pain…
She was waiting, staring at him…
Waiting for him to somehow justify his behavior…
He felt like he was going to crumble, his eyes were tortured…
Despite her anger, a frission of compassion passed through her…
She ached for him, she could feel his unspoken pain…
Resting her hand on his clenched fist, she spoke softly…”I will go and have a shower…Shall I meet you downstairs?”
She flinched as he quickly enclosed her hand in his…”I’ll wait for you. I need to make a phone call…but I’m waiting right here…for you…”
Nodding, she remained quiet as she slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom…
As she showered, her mind was full of questions…
“No Khushi…it’s okay…he has a reason for his behavior…Keep calm..keep calm…”
……….
The instant Arnav heard the water turn on, he took out his phone and dialled…
As soon as he heard the voice on the other end, he roared out his demand…
“You better have a damn fucking good reason for calling my wife! And unless you tell it to me now, then you’re about to experience something worse than hell!!!”
“Bhai…” Akash cleared his throat…”I only called because I knew that you would never let me speak to her face to face…”
“THIS is your reason!?!”
“No…” he continued fast…”I called to reassure her that I am completely dedicated to fixing my marriage with Payal…I do not mean her any harm, and that I will not bring any more pain into this family…”
Arnav was on the verge of blowing up…”Do NOT call her again! Do you understand!?”
“Yes… Yes Bhai I under-“
Arnav cut the call…
He stumbled back, falling to sit on the bed…
The water from the shower shut off…
Looking up, he knew she would be out at any second, and he had to get his emotions under control…
Taking long deep breaths, he tried to push all rage and pain away…
Seeing Khushi go through so much was the darkest period of his life…
A time during which the inhumanity of himself and others had shrivelled the hope in her heart…
He tried to shake himself free but the anguish in her eyes kept reappearing in his vision…
“Damn it…” he muttered…”If I wasn’t such an idiot, this wouldn’t have happened to her…”
His blood still boiled at the thought of another man’s hands on Khushi’s body…
And then the images flashed before him…
Slamming his fist onto the bed, he stood up, not knowing what to do…
……..
When Khushi emerged from the bathroom, she expected her husband to be ready to grab her and finally release all her tension…
But what she saw was his back to her.
He stood staring into space…
His back was tense, his buttocks clenching…
As much as she wanted to stand and admire him, she could sense his angst…
She stepped forwards, but then stopped…
Scrunching her eyes shut, she scolded herself inwardly…
“Why Khushi!? Why!? He isn’t going to hurt you…you were in his arms not more than 15 minutes ago…”
But she couldn’t make herself step forwards so instead she called out to him…
“Arnavji?”
He turned around hearing her softly spoken call…
“Hi…” his eyes scanned the length of her body…
She wore white, her hair free and flowing…
Her face was angelic, her skin glowing…
“…you…you look beautiful…” he stuttered, completely mesmerized…
Khushi smiled…”What a beautiful compliment from such a handsome man…”
Her sweetness overtook him and he started walking towards her…
He saw her eyes widen, but she didn’t move back…
When he reached her, the current between them was fierce and energized…
Keeping his arms by his sides, he bent his head, and joined their lips together…
Their mouths opened and brushed and tasted…
Khushi found herself losing focus on her outer surroundings as she melted into his kiss…
For months now, she had been keeping her senses alert, but now, as he kissed her, she felt her mind move to another dimension…
Not once did Arnav reach out to her…

Feeling utterly unworthy, he waited for her to move, to touch him…
And soon his prayer was answered…
Unknowingly, Khushi lifted her hands and rested them on his chest…
He pressed his lips more firmly into hers, urging her on, encouraging her to continue…
When she felt his strength against her, her hands slid higher, finally looping around his neck…
That was the moment he wound his arms around her waist, making Khushi moan softly into his mouth…
When her head finally fell back, she gifted him with a sigh of pure contentment…
His body shot to life, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make love to her…
But as her eyes opened, he saw her beauty, her innocence, her love for him…
And that made his guilt flame up…
He couldn’t bring himself  to made a move now…
Instead, he looked for a way around it…
“How about…we go and have breakfast now…?”
That squeezing tension resurfaced inside her once again, but she tried to rein it back in…”Sure…sure…”
………….
When Nk caught sight of Arnav and Khushi, he was overjoyed…
“Nanav! Khushiji! FINALLY!!!!!!”
He bounded up towards them and hauled them into a huge hug…
Khushi laughed, feeling stunned…”Nahneji! What?”
Arnav was on edge and roughly pushed NK away from Khushi…
Khushi’s startled eyes darted from NK to Arnav…
Nk stumbled back, stood up straight, and slowly made eye contact with Arnav…
“Arnavji! Why did you, what was that—“
“Wait a minute Khushiji…” NK said quietly as he walked towards Arnav…”Nanav, Mere Bhai?”
Arnav swallowed hard, “Nk, I’m…” he looked from left to right…”sorry, I’m just…”
NK knew of Arnav’s guilt, and to quickly relieve the tension, he grabbed Arnav’s arm and smiled…”It’s okay…No worries…”
Khushi looked on not knowing what was happening…
Arnav nodded in appreciation and tried to restart the day…”NK? You…uh…you seemed really happy to see us…is everything alright?”
Nk smiled…”Oh ho…it’s terrifying…Nani and Di keep talking about dummies and pacifiers…is that some sort of military equipment?”
Khushi instantly broke into a giggle as Arnav tried to explain…
“NK, try to think rationally, Nani and Di are MOTHERS. WHY would they be talking about…” he paused and rolled his eyes…”…they are baby products.”
And Arnav nodded his head for finality and dragged a laughing Khushi towards the dining room…
NK, who was pleased he could lift the tension, followed them, sitting beside Arnav…
As Khushi prepared a plate for Arnav, Arnav leaned towards NK…
“Sorry. I’m…I have moments when I’m really strong, but then…just remembering that video…her face…”
“Nanav, no worries. I’m here for you… okay?”
Khushi sat back down and turned to Arnav saying…”Can you two talk up please? It’s harder to hear you when you lower your voices…”
Both men stared and laughed…
But the laughter soon quietened as Payal and Akash descended the stairs…
Khushi shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but looked up at Payal and smiled bright…
Arnav heard NK chanting to himself, “No one is mad at you…no one Is mad at you…” and that made Arnav smile…
“Goodmorning,” nani said waltzing in from the kitchen…
Anjali walked in, not far behind, holding baby Ruwi…
“Goodmorning…How is everyone?”
 
“Goodmorning Di, Nani…” Nk said…
Anjali apprehensively looked up at Akash and Payal…”Goodmorning…”
Payal almost broke out in tears of relief…
She was hoping that everyone would take initiative, so things wouldn’t be uncomfortable…
“Payal, Akash, how are you today?” Nani asked…
“Good Nani, thankyou…”
Akash pulled out Payal’s chair so she could sit, and then he seated himself…right in front of Khushi…
The way Arnav was feeling, he was surprised that smoke wasn’t coming out of his ears…
But Khushi kept calm, “Jiji…? How are you this morning?”
Payal smiled up at her sister…”I’m okay…You are looking so beautiful in white Khushi…”
Arnav turned to his wife and sighed…”Your sister is right…”
Khushi gazed at Arnav and smiled, but soon turned to face Akash…”And…Ji…Jijaji? How are you?”
Akash froze.
He looked up at Khushi, then to Arnav…
The look on Arnav’s face could have set anything on fire…
Khushi moved her hand onto Arnav’s arm…”I’m okay Arnavji…” and she turned her attention back to Akash…
He hesitated, but then nervously said, “I’m…I’m good. Thankyou Khushiji.”
To Arnav, the rest of the meal was a daze…
As everyone dispersed from the table, Anjali asked Khushi spend time with her and the baby while Nani went out to do some shopping…
Arnav stood up fast as Khushi got up, and he pulled her close, giving her a soft kiss on her mouth…”I’m not far away…understand?”
Khushi mouthed the words “I love you” and walked off with Anjali…
NK, who had been stuffing his face with food the entire time, turned to Payal…”So, what are you two doing today?”
“Well…we were going to go…on a date…to the restaurant where we had our first date…”
Arnav quickly interrupted…”Take the driver with you…”
Akash looked away…
He knew why Arnav said that…

“To make sure I don’t step out of line…” Akash thought…
……………………………

That night…
Arnav came out of the bathroom and saw Khushi sitting on the ground beside the pool…
Moonlight splashed across her nightgown clad body, spotlighting her…
Her shoulders were slumped, her arms looped around her raised knees…
Her posture showed him how vulnerable she still was…
And where she was sitting showed him how isolated she still felt…
He silently cursed himself when he heard the shuddering sigh that escaped her…
She didn’t move as he approached her…
Crouching down beside her, he gently took her hands in his, warming her chilled skin…
He held her hands patiently, waiting for her to respond…
Finally she turned her head to look at him…
“Khushi…Are you okay sweetheart? Talk to me…”
He was disturbed by her silence…
“When will I be free from this?”
His grip on her hands tightened…”It’s only been a few months…don’t be so hard on yourself…”
Lifting one of her hands, he pressed her palm to his cheek…
Turning, he kissed each fingertip that rested on his face, then pressed his lips to the center of her palm…
When she whispered his name, he died a little inside…
“I’ve told you before, that when you start to feel this way, to come and talk to me…please Khushi…Don’t just hide away somewhere and mull on things…I’m here…as your support…”
Her eyes merely stared into his…
And every time he saw even a hint of her pain, he felt his emotions begin to crumble and shatter…
“Come…you need to rest…you’re exhausting your mind thinking about too much…”
“I want to rest…I want to…but my brain refuses to shut off…”
He smiled softly and lifted her into his arms, cradling her against his chest as he carried her to the bed…
His body as powerful, and his footsteps as soundless as a predator…
The instant he lowered her to the bed, he lingered…
His hand shook as he turned on a lamp, flooding the room with dim light…
He sat beside her, his muscles knotting with tension, his body enflamed with desire…
His gaze swept over her, his hands closing into fists…
“Arnavji…?” she asked quietly…
He brought his gaze to hers…
“Why do you still blame yourself?”
She saw his fists clench harder…
Taking one of his hands, she brought it to her lap as she sat up…
Tangling their fingers together, she trembled…
Skimming her fingers along the back of his hand, heightening his arousal, she continued…”You say for me to talk to you when my mind terrorizes me…and yet you don’t share with me when guilt overwhelms you…”
His inner tension ratcheted higher and higher…
“Khushi I…I have tried so hard to hide that from you…”
Khushi held his hand tighter…
“I am responsible for…for letting him take you…I am…All the promises I made…just…broken…”
Arnav saw her about to interrupt but he kept going…”I hate seeing fear always hiding in your eyes…”
“Arnavji…”
He gave up resisting and pulled her into his arms, lifting her to straddle his lap…
He held her with gentleness that seems at odds with his physical strength…
Khushi wrapped her arms around him and turned her face into his neck, dampening his skin with her tears…
Their closeness soothed and comforted them both…
He could sense when she began feeling anxious again by the way she gripped him tighter…
With heart-breaking tenderness, he lifted her head, eased back, and looked into her eyes…
Her face pale, her cheeks wet…
“Please stop blaming yourself Arnavji…please…”
Arnav shook his head…”I AM to blame…I promised you safety and I failed… I promised you security and I failed… Even before all that, I had been so cruel to you that you didn’t even KNOW how much I loved you!”
All the memories…
All the pain…
Khushi felt like she was sinking, and she tried to get off him, but as she moved, her breasts brushed across his chest and Arnav’s control snapped and he claimed her mouth, his hunger for her exploding like a fireball…
“NO Khushi…” he ground out harshly…”No more running away! WE can get through this! It is HELL for us both! But I’m not about to let you OR myself hide from what has happened…!”
Her eyes were wide as she replied…”I don’t want to talk about this…I don’t want to make you feel–“
“You haven’t got a clue about how you make me feel Khushi Kumari Gupta!”
He gripped her upper arms, held her still when she tried to move, and settled her deeply into his lap, not bothering to conceal his arousal…”You will NEVER, EVER fully understand how I feel about you!”
Khushi didn’t move.
“We have both been tortured enough! If we need to talk things through, then like the hospital councillor said, WE WILL! If we have to breakdown, to let out our pain, THEN WE WILL! But Khushi, we will do it together!”
His voice contained a raw power and hunger that blistered his veins with intensity and sent hot blood surging throughout his body…
“But we have been better! The last few days!”
He held her close, emotions in chaos…”I know! And that is INCREDIBLE, but there are moments like this when we will both feel like the ground is shattering beneath us, and that is when we need to be TOGETHER! To talk, to hold each other! I know you still don’t fully trust me…”
“What? Yes I do!” she yelled…
“Khushi…”
“I do!” she screamed…
Her brazeness at trying to convince him made him furious…
Spinning their joined bodies around, he crashed his body into hers with blasting force…
Screaming in shock, Khushi felt panic consume her…”No! Don’t hurt–“
Silence.
Arnav gentled himself and lifted his weight off her…”I would never…NEVER hurt you…”
“Oh no…” tears began to form…”but I DO trust you…I know I do!”
Softly kissing her forehead, he whispered…”I know you do…”
“My heart trust you more than anyone…more than ANYONE…”
Arnav ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her…”We will be alright…I’m…I’m so sorry…”
Khushi heard his tattered voice…
“You are my husband…you are a GOOD man…you are NOT to blame…no one, especially you, will convince me otherwise…”
Lowering his body back over hers, he held her close, still guild-ridden as he absorbed the trembling of her body…
He dropped his gaze to her, and saw the weary state of her emotions…
Arnav felt shamed and humbled by her honesty…
He felt guilty that someone so vulnerable would share her feelings so openly…
His heart shifted painfully in his chest, and all defenses fell away…
His eyes began to linger over her body in an invisible caress…
Taking her hands, he helped her sit up…
Khushi felt his fingers seek out the hem of her nightie, lifting it slowly…
She raised her arms, not able to stop what was going to happen, not wanting to stop it…
Khushi saw his appreciation for her body as his eyes drank her in…
The pure love she saw in his eyes made her nipples tighten, made her breasts feel heavy and swollen…
She wanted to speak, to reassure him, to reassure herself, but all her emotions felt wedged in her throat…
But he didn’t need her to tell him what she needed, his body instinctively knew…
His hands purposefully slid down from her shoulders and closed over her tingling flesh…
She felt the spasm of his fingers as he held her breasts with a possessiveness she savoured…
She was powerless from his touch…
Khushi gave herself to him with an innate honesty that baffled the powerful Arnav Singh Raizada…
“Arnav…”
Her voice broke as she said his name…
His eyes shot open…
He saw how exposed she felt, how nervous she was for their future…
Drawing her into his heat, he lowered her back to the bed, his hands sweeping down her ribcage, over her hips…
His touch alone made her sheath pour out steaming pulses of heat…
Khushi’s pelvis tilted upwards, making his eyes roam towards her face…
Her breasts caught his eyes again and he saw the darkened tips, how tight, how painfully tight they were…
Rising up, he flicked his tongue over her sensitive flesh…
Her hands flew to his shoulders, gripping him…
He suckled her breasts until she lost all awareness of time and space…
He alternated back and forth, relentless as he took each hard peak deep into the wet heat of his mouth…
Khushi began to shake and moan, and he knew that he couldn’t push her anymore…
Pulling his briefs away, his thick, pulsing erection sprung out…
He gripped her waist with both hands, and suddenly paused…
His chest rose and fell rapidly…
His hands shook…
“Khushi…”
As her eyes opened, he began to slowly push his way inside her…
Her body shuddered from the force of their connection…
He breathed against her lips…”I was created to share this with you…”
Blown away by the power of his words, she didn’t have a chance to reply as he surged forwards without warning, impaling her completely…
She immediately experienced the pulsating power of his erection, feeling as though he’d breached her heart…
“Fire…” she whispered…”You’re like…like fire inside me…”
“Look at me…” he ordered…
He moved with fluid grace, keeping their bodies joined while he slid deeper…
Hovering over her, he drove his fingersinto her hair, cradling her head, stilling the restless movement of her body with the press of his hips…
He pressed forward, slowly…
Wrapping her arms around him, Khushi gave herself over to him…
Each powerful thrust into her body felt deeper and more intense than the one before it…
She began to tremble, her gaze locked onto his steel eyes…piercing eyes…eyes so primal it made her feel as though some wild beast had claimed her for his own…
His steadily escalating pace quickled stripped her of her ability to think…
He was her focus…
She was the centre of his world…
Nothing and no one could break this…
Their bodies collided again and again, recklessly thrown into a furnace of passion…
“Arnavji…”
“No Khushi…say my name…”
Her arms became weak as they fell to the bed…”Arnav…”
“LOUDER!”
He felt her channel sucking him into her body as she screamed…”ARNAV!”
“Again!!!”
With all her body’s energy now drilling towards a fierce climax, Khushi barely had the strength to reply…
“Ar…Arnav…”
Khushi tried to move, but all strength was gone…
Her release came suddenly, without warning…
She stiffened, and then exploded, gushing around his flesh that was buried inside hers…
Arnav held onto her tight as she collapsed into his arms…
She was utterly helpless, awash in a flow of intense sensations…
He spoke against her lips…”come again…let me see that freedom on your face…”
Her soft whimpers were begging for him to stop, as much as they were begging for him to continue…
Sliding an arm beneath her bottom, he began to penetrate her, dragging his hard, pulsing shaft over her gspot continuously…
Keening, deep gasps began to surge from her throat as her channel became so tight that he was no longer able to hold his release back…
At the mercy of her climax, Arnav lost control…
The frighteningly intense tremors of her body, catapulted him into a raging orgasm that had him growling out loud…
He tried to hold onto her, but his shaking body could barely hold himself up…
As they both were consumed with a devestatng climax, they slumped against each other, letting sleep take them over…
 

14 Comments leave one →
  1. July 20, 2013 1:34 pm

    You get awesomer with each story.. u know that right!?!? <3never stop writing…

  2. July 20, 2013 1:35 pm

    whoever you are… THANKYOU SO MUCH! 😀 🙂

  3. July 20, 2013 1:47 pm

    Awesome update… loved it every bit…

  4. July 20, 2013 3:46 pm

    🙂

  5. July 20, 2013 3:52 pm

    That was an amazinggg update!!!

  6. July 20, 2013 4:01 pm

    that was a cute and a hot update

  7. July 20, 2013 4:54 pm

    U r an amazing writer..jst came across all ur stories..n read them in a goo..u r jst fab..

  8. July 21, 2013 6:25 am

    Amazing update !Could feel what Arnav was going thru and what Khushi was going thru ! Poor Khushi still scared but wants to move ahead also!Here Arnav is trying to soothe away all her pains and take her out of her darkness and fill it with light and pure love ! Making her try to move ahead easier !Damn the PHONE… ' Will make it up with you ' didnt happen when the making up started !My suggestion of a poetic Arnav while Making up, also didnt happen 😦 but no complains because when it comes to Khushi, Arnav cannot think straight and looses control within seconds when alone ! Even the place doesnt matter !What i really liked was the unspoken understanding between Arnav and Khushi . Which slowly turns into becoming vocal understanding and sharing of thoughts ! Re-assuring Khushi that he was and will be all the time with her at any given time.The whole update was absolutely AWESOME ! Even the smallest and slightess of gestures you have penned down brilliantly ! *nindy grinning and clapping*

  9. July 21, 2013 9:06 am

    Arnav is so torn that he was unable to fully protect herAnd finally the make up was so intense and hot

  10. July 21, 2013 12:32 pm

    OMG! You know I don’t usually comment on stuff, but I felt it wouldn’t be justice if I didn’t appreciate your effort! Every single piece of writing you have penned down up till now is so good, so awesome that I couldn’t resist myself commenting! 😀
    I totally adore your work! ❤

  11. July 22, 2013 1:12 am

    wow this was amazing you just keep being more amazing and amazing

  12. sruthick permalink
    July 23, 2013 3:23 pm

    That was an Amazing update..
    Jst LOVD it..<3

  13. August 7, 2013 5:13 am

    So beautiful. Loved it. – desisweetheart9 from IF.

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