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I Feel Nothing REBOOT Part 7

November 11, 2013

 

Khushi looked back at Arnav as the car drove away…

After the last few days of him constantly being around her, she felt worried…


But Shyam was back at RM and she had Anjaliji and Payal with her…


So now it was just time to sit back and let everyone enjoy their shopping…


Anjali and Payal were having a great time looking at everything they could possibly find…


Khushi wasn’t really interested in “things”, she was just truly relishing the fact that she was out with family, and they were including her in their lives again…


It was a gift that she still couldn’t quite believe she was receiving…


She was gazing out the shop window and didn’t hear her sister and Anjali say , “we’re going to the change rooms would you like to come?”


When she didn’t respond they just said, “we’ll be out in a few minutes…and then we’re going to take you out for sweets!”


They walked off, thinking Khushi had heard…


When Khushi surfaced from her thoughts, the first thing she noticed was how quiet it was around her…


She quickly started wandering round, looking for them…


Meanwhile, in the changing rooms Anjali and Payal were planning…”I think this one would suit khushiji more…”


Payal nodded, “Yes, oh and then we should look at bangles, and then we go eat sweets till we feel sick “


They both laughed, and rushed out to Khushi…who was no where to be seen…


Anjali looked around, while Payal asked the sales lady who was helping them before, “have you seen my sister, the lady who was also with us? She was wearing yellow…”


The sales lady had seen many people…”well…a girl dressed in yellow just left in an auto about 15 minutes ago…”


“left?…in an…”


Anjali heard and came up behind Payal, “Maybe she was missing Chote?”


Payal shook her head…”ofcourse…she’s gone back…”


But instead of being angry, they both started giggling…”I never thought i’d see Chote so in love…he always denied it…always avoided it…”


Payal still felt a bit concerned for Khushi and suggested, “still, should we call home and ask if she has arrived there safely?”…


“Yes i think you’re right” and Anjali pulled her mobile out of her bag…

…………

Back at the RM, Arnav and Akash had burst into Shyam’s room.

He was sitting on his bed with a first aid kit tending to his bleeding face.


Arnav spoke first…”Akash and I are both going to make sure you do NOT hurt Di. And I am here to personally make sure you don’t EVER hurt Khushi again. That you don’t even go near her again.”…


Shyam began to smirk and Akash had to interfere to stop Arnav from attacking him again…


“Listen, we are both going to make sure you stop causing trouble. You will not be leaving this house. You will be staying in a separate room to Di. You will say it’s because you aren’t well and don’t want to infect her while she’s pregnant. You will stay in YOUR room. Or Bhai and I will make bloody sure that you go to jail for all the pain you have caused…”


Arnav, now calmer said, “My security has been updated and will be recording your every move so don’t even THINK of trying to approach my wife. You’re time of deceit and destruction is going to end. Now.”…


Shyam stood up wincing in pain,  and spoke…”you think that I need to leave this room in order to carry out my plan???” and with that Shyam just started laughing….


“You FUCKING bastard!”


Akash had to practically drag Arnav away before he killed Shyam…


Slamming the door and locking it Arnav tried to control his breathing…


“Bhai, there are security cameras everywhere. He is locked in this room. We have an excuse for Di. It will all be okay…”


Arnav tried his hardest to believe what Akash just said, and was about to reply when he felt his phone start to ring…


Arnav quickly excused himself and walked off to his room to answer his phone…”hello ?”


“Chote?? Payalji and I just wanted to make sure Khushi made it home ok…”


Arnav’s heart stopped.


“what?”


“We wanted to know if she made it home safely?”


“DI! What are you saying!? She’s not here! Where is She!?! How did you lose her?! “


Arnav was yelling and his face was burning with fright….


“Chote, it’s okay, she must still be around here somewhere” Anjali said motioning to Payal to keep looking around…”we were in the change rooms and came out and, well the sales lady said that she saw a girl in yellow get into an Auto…we just assumed that she was going home to you…don’t worry, i’m sure she’s…”
 
“DON’T WORRY!?!?!?!” Arnav was ignited with rage and worry…”Di you and Payal go and look for her. NOW!”

Arnav hung up and dialed Khushi’s number, but heard her phone ringing on the dresser in their room…


Starting to rush downstairs to his car he remembered Shyam’s words…


“You think that i need to leave this room in order to carry out my plan???”


Arnav got in his car and sped away…


He called the police to start looking for her…


He called security at the shopping complex to look out for her…


Once he arrived at the mall, he slammed down on the breaks, left his car, and ran inside…

………..

 
Anjali heard Arnav hang up…”he’s frightfully worried…I think he’s going to come down here and search for her…”
 
Payal thought for a second…”Wait…if Khushi is still here, then she would probably go to the nearest snack stand…”

They both began walking to where any food would be…


Anjali suddenly saw a bright burst of yellow appear in the distance…
 
And there stood Khushi…

“There she is!” Anjali said to Payal…


They both breathed a sigh of relief and approached Khushi who started to say, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find you both and so i just came to the nearest snack stand…i was watching the exit though incase i saw you both leave…”


Anjali smiled and put her hand on Khushi’s cheek…”it’s fine Khushiji…but…” Anjali looked at Payal…”Chote is probably on his way here in a panic…”


Khushi’s eyes went wide…”Why!? Why would he panic? Is he okay?”


Khushi was worried now… he will be so angry at me…


“He’s fine, but when we couldn’t find you we were told that a girl dressed like you got in an auto and we thought you may have gone home…so i called chote to see if you arrived safely…then he realized that we didn’t know where you were…”


Anjali had an apologetic look on her face…


Khushi just smiled and tried to reassure her…”it will be okay. I will explain everything.”


Anjali started to dial Arnav’s number when she saw him run in and immediately lock eyes on Khushi.


He bolted to her and, nearly knocking her to the ground, clung to her for dear life…”Oh my God…” he breathed heavily…”Khushi…you’re ok…I thought…” he couldn’t stand it…


He held her shoulders and moved back so he could look at her…


She just stared up at him, her mouth open almost ready to say something when he yanked her forward and planted a hot, wet kiss on her open mouth…
 
Anjali and Payal gasped!

Arnav was kissing her!


In public!


Fortunately they didn’t have to intervene since he broke the kiss quite fast…


Khushi looked flustered but not angered…


Arnav held her gently, “sorry…I know I shouldn’t have done that here…I don’t want to scare you…it’s just…”

She could see his distress…”it’s ok Arnavji…I’m sorry i worried you…”


Arnav took her hand and kissed it and then pulled her close…”Di, Payal… I will accompany you for the rest of your time out…”
 
Payal and Anjali just looked at each other knowing that his statement wasn’t up for debate…

Whatever they said wouldn’t make any difference…


Arnav was once again fully attached to Khushi and wasn’t going to leave.
 
So they decided to just go and have some tea together and do what women to best…talk.
 
Arnav sat next to Khushi and just stared at her in awe…

She sat quietly between only speaking when she had to…


Please come back Khushi…


She looked almost at ease, but he knew her heart was still needing repair…


His hoped with all his might that  her pain would soon fizzle into nothingness so that she wouldn’t wake up scared, or worry that he would hurt her…


He smiled as she took a sip of her tea and some of it dripped down to her chin…


He quickly leaned forward and brushed it off with his thumb…
 
“Chote! All this public display of affection is almost giving me more nausea than this pregnancy!” Anjali said with a laugh while holding her hand on her tummy…

As Khushi watched Anjali hold her stomach, she felt a stab of sadness…


It suddenly dawned on her that after they all find out about Shyam, they may start to hate her again…especially Anjali…


Oh no…I couldn’t bare to lose everyone all over again…


Suddenly wanted nothing more than to run into her room, hide away, and stare out at the sky…


Starting to labour for breath Khushi said…”Anjaliji, i’m getting quite tired…would you mind very much if …”


“ofcourse she won’t mind” Arnav said, noting her change in demeanor…


He stood up and took Khushi’s hand…


Anjali and Payal got up to hug Khushi saying they’d see her at home later…


Arnav, still holding her hand, lead her out of the building towards his car.


He opened her door and she got in quietly…


And the journey home began…


She was silent…


“are you ok Khushi?”…

Khushi remained still…

“Khushi?”…

“What happened today after i left?” she asked quietly…

He took a deep breath…”Akash knows…he is fully supportive of you. Now we have more support when the time comes…” 


Arnav started telling her the whole plan…


Khushi just nodded…not saying a word. 


They arrived home and before Arnav could get out and open her door, Khushi undid her seat belt and bolted up the stairs, and inside the house…


“Khushi?!” Arnav called out, running after her…


He easily caught up to her just as she ran into their room…


He reached out and grabbed her dupatta, and she spun from the force of him holding it,  swirling right into his waiting arms…


Khushi started pushing him, trying to get away…


“Khushi….Khushi…” Arnav kept saying, his hands moving firmly up around her waist, and her back until she finally gave up , tired of trying anymore…
 
“Khushi, what happened today? You seemed to be happy…but then…tell me what happened…you know full well that i won’t be letting you go until you tell me…” 
 
Khushi knew that he wouldn’t let her go…”i…um…” 

Arnav just nodded gently, “you don’t need to be afraid of me…i promised you that i wouldn’t hurt you ever again…i will keep that promise till the day i die…” 


Khushi looked up, and her voice was hushed…”when….when everyone…finally finds out…they’re going to hate me again…especially Anjaliji…I…I can’t…can’t lose them all again…I can’t come between you and her…” 


Khushi began to squirm out of Arnav’s arms but he was holding her so firmly she couldn’t budge…
 
“Khushi…” His tone was now low and serious…”Di won’t hate you. I know her. She will see that you are the victim as much as she is…and now…” he took a deep breath…
 
“I won’t ever stop telling you this, because i need you to realize this…my family are the most important people in my life. But if i don’t look after myself, how can i look after them…this is why i take care of myself first…but do you what is an equal part of me?…you. You hold my heart. So if i don’t look after you, I die. Khushi, when I look in your eyes, I see the man I’ve always wanted to be…my happiness doesn’t have a damn thing to do with work, money, or winning anymore… It has everything to do with you. Being with you has changed me. Changed my life. You are my life…and if i don’t look after my life, I die…and you are my life…therefore i put you first. Always.”
 
Then his mouth was on hers, making a mockery of every passionate kiss they’d shared before that moment…

When they were locked together like this, body to body, soul to soul, breathing the same humid air, everything else faded away…
 
Khushi’s mind was buzzing with thoughts…

He is not relenting…


He was steadfast, kissing her soundly, his tongue touching hers, exploring her mouth unhurriedly…


More and more every day, she felt her emotions thawing, but still, she was terrified to trust him…


After everything they had been through, and now, after seeing him THIS way towards her, she feared that if he ever reverted back, that she would die.


Literally.


She started to cry…small sobs echoing into his mouth via hers…


As if Arnav knew what she was thinking, he kept his lips on hers and spoke softly…”…the way i was before…i will never be like that with you again…i know you can’t trust me straight away, but Khushi…i will win your trust again…i know your heart loves me…and i will not lie to your heart…”
 
Khushi whimpered against his mouth as he caught her in another hard sensual kiss, much more desperate than the first one…

His kiss was making it hard for her to hear her own thoughts…


Her whole body involuntarily started to push closer to his, feeling  a need of her own starting to quell in her core…


She remembered all the times she wished this would happen…


All the times she begged God to let him want her as his wife….

*flashback*
 
“remember, to the outside world we’re married, but all this is fake to me…”

The night they got married…


The night she lost her family…


The night she lost her dignity…
 
*end of flashback*

Suddenly she was stricken with agony, with pains that burned at her heart…

Finding all the strength she could muster, Khushi pushed Arnav away from her…


Not in anger, not in fury…in total, utter despair…


She fell to the floor and screamed so loud that she was sure the dead would hear her…


Arnav instantly dropped to her side, trying to calm her, but was only harshly pushed away again…
 
“I lost… everything that…that… night! EVERYTHING! My amma! My Buaji! My …my…babuji! Your family probed me with… insulted questions! And…you… you were NO WHERE! No! I will never be able to forget this…let me go back to the way i was…i don’t want to feel! I don’t want to feel anything anymore….hate me again Arnavji! Hurt me again! Please!!!!!” she grabbed his shirt, unaware of the tears streaming down his face and his inability to speak…”please, just tell me you hate me, tell me to leave you alone, push me out of your room, squeeze my arms till they bruise….i want to stop feeling again….i want…i …i…”

Khushi finally fainted in his arms…
 
Arnav just held her limp body and cried.

He cried for her.


He held her close to him burying his face in her hair, near her neck and he started to whisper , “No Khushi…I am going to bring such fierce love into your life that you WILL forget this pain. I am going to make THIS my life’s work…you will NOT be a corpse of the Khushi i love…you will come back to me…i know i don’t deserve to be forgiven…but i will die a thousand deaths before you let your heart convince you that you aren’t enough…because you ARE enough…you are everything to me…and though i wasn’t there for you before…i will always be there for you now…”
 
Arnav lifted her in his embrace, and carried her to the bed, laying her gently down…

He drenched a small towel with water and wiped her face free of the tears that tried to blotch her …


And he waited.


He sat by her side…


15 minutes passed…


30 minutes passed…


A soft knock sounded at his door…


He trudged forwards to see who it was…


Payal…


“Hi, we just got back home now and Anjali is preparing food…how is Khushi?” she looked over to Khushi, who was sound asleep…


Arnav couldn’t respond.


“she was very tired wasn’t she…?” payal said with a smile…”i’m glad you’re taking so much care of her…she’s very stubborn…she usually wants to take care of everyone else…we’ll call you when the food is ready…”


And with that Payal left the room…

He closed the door and stood still, frozen in place.


“Arnavji…Arnavji…please believe me…please…”

The moment he heard his name being called he bolted back to her side and held her hand when he saw that she was dreaming…


“i’m here…I’m here Khushi…i do believe you, i believe everything you say…nothing is going to hurt you…”


Her eyes opened, and he saw they were flooded with fear…


Not fear of Arnav… 


But fear of a different kind…


She sat up and clung to him with newfound strength…”please…please believe me, i didn’t know! I didn’t know he was your jijaji! I didn’t ! i’m sorry i didn’t tell you! Please please don’t hurt me for this!!!” 


Her pleas were Arnav’s undoing…


He grabbed the back of her head and pushed his mouth on hers, passionately silencing her…


When he broke away she started begging once more…”he…he always found me…no matter where I was…I’m scared…don’t… don’t leave me alone….please don’t leave me alone…” 


Arnav pressed her body to his…“Shh…jaan… I won’t. Ever…I am devestated over what i have let happen to you…” 


Pulling at his shirt, she tried to get closer…”I know you were deceived by him too…I know…”


They both just gazed at each other for what seemed like years…

Until she finally heard their names being called from outside the door informing them that the evening food had been prepared…


Khushi jumped up out of bed and started scolding herself…”What is wrong with you Khushi! You know better than to get all emotional when you should be doing your chores…what is going on in your head!”


Arnav stood up and began walking toward her with that same look on his face…the one he had on the night of Diwali…


It seemed like such a long time ago…


He kept walking toward her, and she retreated for every time he stepped closer…


Arnav crowded her against the wall… “I want to kiss you. Right now…”


“Ar…Arnavji…dinner is-“


“Forget about that…This is about you and me…” before she could respond, velvety soft lips were brushing hers.


Then Crushing hers.


His tongue stroked and teased.


Coaxing.


Devouring.


He repositioned his head, taking the kiss down to the depths of her soul.

Yet Arnav didn’t touch her.


He kept one forearm braced above her head.


His palm lay flat by her shoulder…


Right now, nothing existed but him, and her.

He pulled back from her saying , “I hope this clears up your confusion…”

“Confusion…?” 

Arnav’s eyes narrowed…“For thinking you’re a servant, or housecleaner, or cook. What part of MY WIFE is confusing to you?”


Khushi’s eyes studied her husband….”I am his wife…” she thought…

 
Then echoing in her mind was Arnav’s angry voice…

“for 6 months! Then i will set you free!”


And again, she felt that all to familiar pain inside her…


Arnav observed expression as she started to think about what he said…


He didn’t know what was fully going through her mind until she whispered unknowingly…“…for 6 months…”
 
Arnav, terrified that she would start to break down again, began moving his hands over her trembling body and said, “yes for 6 months…but then  6 months will turn into  a year…and that year will turn into 5 years…and that will turn into 10…and then 10 will turn into 10 thousand…and 10 thousand will turn into eternity…my heart won’t ever stop being yours. And i won’t ever stop trying to hold your heart with your trust…”
 
What?!

Khushi, felt like she was choking…


She quickly moved out of his grasp and ran out to the poolside taking deep breaths…


Arnav watched her trying to stabilize her breathing, try to halt all the thoughts rummaging through her head…


He knew this would all take time, but seeing her this way was cutting his soul…


He knew her heart was trying to accept him by the way she didn’t resist his kisses, by the way she had given her body to him…


But then all of the hurtful things he exposed her to would start to take over, and her heart would only retreat again…


“I don’t care how long…” he thought decidedly…”I will not faulter…”


Arnav then saw that Khushi walked back in their room and head for the door…he tried to take her hand but she shied away saying, “please don’t touch me right now…please…I don’t mean to anger you…I don’t..but please let me go downstairs first…alone…I just…I need some space…”
 
Arnav’s heart plummeted, but her pleading made him realize her genuine need…

“Alright…you may be walking alone…but just because i’m not by your side doesn’t mean i’m not with you…” he smiled briefly and opened the door for her, watching her walk away, dying a little with every step she took…


He slowly retreated to the bathroom, needing to splash cold water on his tearstained face before joining everyone downstairs…

…………..

 
Khushi walked in a trance down the hallways…

But soon,  a sick feeling came over her when she bumped into Anjali …and Shyam.


Anjali had already found out about Shyam’s “illness” and went to check on him…


“Khushiji!” she said a bit nervously…”please don’t tell Chote that I was here, I know he’ll just get angry and ask me to see the doctor incase I’ve caught anything…” she laughed a little and hurriedly walked past, disappearing around the corner…


Khushi was now left outside Shyam’s room…with Shyam standing at the doorway…


His face covered with a deep, sick lust for her…


Stuck to the ground in fear, all she could see were his eyes. 


Evil, and just waiting to devour her. 


Her heart started to bash inside her chest wanting to call out for help… but that’s when she heard him speak…


“Khushiji…you look so beautiful…i wish i could show you how much i love you…because looking at you right now is making me yearn for you…yearn to touch you…in all the right places…”
 
“Don’t throw up!” Khushi thought as she shuddered…

Suddenly his hand covered her wrist, making her whimper…


“I’m sure saale saab has now told you about his ridiculous plan…”


Her head jerked up, looking around furiously for someone to help her…


“if Arnav thinks that all this  security will deter me from possessing you, then he is dead wrong…”


Khushi tried to find her voice, stuttering and looking around pleadingly for ANYONE…

……………..

 
Arnav looked at his reflection in the mirror…

He towel dried his face and headed out of his room…


As he rounded a corner, he came across at sight that made his inner beast release…


Khushi was shivering, her eyes were searching for help, and she was trying to free her hand from Shyam’s harsh grip…


Arnav ran to Khushi’s side and yanked Shyam’s hand off her.


Arnav then kicked shyam brutally in the belly making him fall back into his room…


He shut and locked the door and turned back to Khushi who was shaking and still trying to say something…


Leading her away from there to a nearby corner, he tried to keep the fury out of his voice…”Khushi?” he said softly looking at every detail of her face and holding her close to him…”Khushi, how did this happen? Are you alright?  He was locked in wasn’t he? Do you know how he got out?”


Arnav’s hands ran up and down her arms and finally grabbed her hands…


Khushi let out a cry of pain when he held her hand…
 
She was hurting again.

That demon has hurt her again!


Trying to regain all his composure, he gently lifted her hand to his mouth and traced his tongue along the bruises that started to show…


She looked at him with tormented eyes that bore into his soul…


“Come, I’ll take you downstairs…”


Once in the lounge, he motioned for Payal to come to her…


He looked in her eyes and said, “I’ll be right back…” 


Khushi just nodded and watched as he strode back upstairs taking long, stalking strides…

…….

 
Arnav barged in to Shyam’s room only to see a ready and waiting Shyam.

“aaah saale saab… I knew you’d come…” he smirked…


Arnav walked to him, and without saying anything, grabbed Shyam’s hand, the one that held Khushi’s, and with all his fury fuelling him, slammed it onto the corner of the wall…


He heard a long line of cracks and shatters follow, and Shyam started yelping and clutching his broken and shattered hand…
 
Arnav stared at Shyam as he writhed in pain…”if I ever see your infected hands on Khushi again i will break a lot more than just your hand…”

Not bothering to wait, Arnav walked out of the room and locked it securely…


Now to find out how the filthy bastard got out…


He ran to the room housing all the security cameras and found the live feed and rewound it to the time he had left the room…


As the video played, he saw Khushi run into his Di, and then how she just left Khushi there with that leech …


“Di disobeyed me! And then just left Khushi there!”

……….

 
Khushi ate silently.

The chatter of the other family members helping to drown out her thoughts…


Arnav soon entered and everyone looked up to greet him…all except Khushi…


She was just in a daze.


He went to sit beside her, keeping his focus completely on her.


Taking her hand,  he lifted her fingers to his lips, kissing them, bringing her back to reality.


Her heart began to speed up, her panic becoming too much to bear..


Just as he was about to ask if she was alright, she threw her arms around him, and hung on for dear life.


Everyone started to asked what was wrong, if she was okay, what the problem was..

But they both weren’t paying any attention…


Arnav had closed his eyes and wrapped her in his arms…


He was madder then hell that Shyam had been able to get to her again, when an idea sparked in his head… 


He didn’t think about it too long before he opened his eyes and  spoke out confidently…”Shyam did it. He hurt Khushi!”

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