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SS : Heartbeats Part 12

December 5, 2013

Did I do the right thing…?
Her mind was now filling up with questions, but as usual, she had spoken one aloud…
Arnav tugged her around the waist, bringing her body closer…
As her eyes froze on his, he whispered, “I will never let you regret tonight…because tonight, I finally feel complete again, and even though you are still cautious, I can see that you feel the same…”
I feel the same?…yes…yes…my heart…our heartbeats…
But the memory of how he had torn their love apart began to surge inside her…
And the pain was unbearable…
Arnav’s expression shone with worry, “Khushi? Khushi, what’s-“
Her chest began heaving…
“You’re…crying…? Khushi…Shhhh, stop…please…”
Grabbing on tight to the white tablecloth, she pulled it tightly around herself as she pushed him away…
He allowed her to withdraw, but he stayed on alert, ready to restrain her if need be…
“Khushi, talk to me! What’s wrong!?”
She held out her hand, stopping him from getting closer, “Stay away…stay…away…”
Arnav ignored her attempt to avoid him, “What the hell is wrong!? TALK to me!”
“I can’t do this again! I can’t!”
“Do WHAT!?”
“THIS!” her finger pointed at herself, then at him, and back to herself…”You and me! You promised this once before! I can’t…” she fisted her hand over her chest…”ARGH! You’re…you’re back in my heart and…”
Arnav was growling, but she continued…
“…and I won’t survive getting hurt so badly a second time! I need to be happy to keep Libbi happy!”
“Khushi, I already told you how sorry I am! And I won’t make that mistake again!”
Shaking her head, her tone was decided, “No…NO! Don’t say anymore! NO!”
Khushi tried to find her panties and bra, but all she could see was her dress, in a pile not a metre away…
Even though the fabric was wrinkled and tattered, she held her head high as she carefully stepped into it…
Arnav could see how decided she was…
Sweetheart, can’t you SEE how sorry I am…you see it one moment, and then forget it the next…I am so damn sorry that I have hurt you so much…
Arnav picked up his shirt and slid it on.
As she continued to dress quietly, he  pulled up his trousers but left the zipper undone, leaving them hanging low on his hips…
They now stood facing each other…
With his shirt undone and pants riding low, Khushi’s body once again betrayed her.
Her back was to the wall, with Arnav standing defensively in front of her, ready to block her from leaving any way he could.
Khushi stood still, the room was silent, the only sound was her anger, her desire, and her pain reverberating around her head.
How dare he…how dare he assume that this would make everything okay! That it would somehow FIX everything…I…I can’t go through the pain again…
Hot tears of rage and disappointment sprang to her eyes, and she let them fall heavily onto her cheeks and drip down.
Arnav could see how torn she was…”Khushi…I know this is new to you again, but we-“
“WE? You and me?! I already decided there wasn’t any future with you and tried to move on, but…but now…”
A sudden swell of sadness took over her rage and she slumped back against the wall and let the heaving sobs wrack her body, expelling all the hurt and humiliation…
He wanted to rush to her, but seeing her cry so hopelessly broke his heart…
“Khushi…for the last nine years, the pain of being away from you was so acute that I was almost convinced that I was going insane! This is a shock, I understand that, but like I said before, I am not going to let this be the end for us!”
He wanted her so much, and he slowly crept towards her…
She shook her head, “I can’t tell the end from the beginning…”
He edged forwards, “You and me, will never end…EVER!”
Her clenched hands pressed against her chest, “I…I don’t know…Inside my heart…I…”
Slowly, her eyes lifted and locked onto his…
Her mouth parted for a second, and he saw the flick of her tongue against her teeth and he totally lost it.
In a mere two steps, she was in his arms…
He pushed her back against the wall, his body hard against hers, and brought his lips down to hers, forcing them open so he could slip his tongue into her sweet mouth.
He threaded his fingers into her hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and holding her head still so he could kiss her more thoroughly.
She wriggled against him, her firm breasts pushed up hard against his chest…
Even though he could hear her sobbing, she kissed him back.
At the moment he’d moved toward her, he hadn’t stopped to wonder what her reaction would be — hadn’t even cared — but an intense desperation pounded through him as she kissed him back furiously, matching his passion and need.
She smelled so good, felt so soft and hot against him, he lost himself in the moment…
Khushi’s hands flew to his face, cupping his jaw and stroking her thumbs over his cheeks possessively as her lips savaged his.
Her breath came quickly, heating his skin, and she made a low growling sound in the back of her throat sending his senses into overdrive.
Arnav yanked up her skirt and pushed his hands roughly between her legs, finding the damp warmth he knew would be waiting for him.
His fingers slipped inside her and she let out another loud groan against his lips.
“Arnavji…I’m hurting…I have…been so long without…you…Please,” she whispered pushing herself harder against him. “Please … ”
After what had felt like the most traumatic nine years of his life, trying to find her, trying not to break down, trying to remember her every detail, he’d had enough.
She was so wet against his hand, the memory of her hot tightness around him was too much, and he pulled his fingers out of her, pushed down his trousers, lifted her leg under her knee and speared his length hard inside her.
He slipped up to the hilt easily, her body as desperate for him as his was for her…
“Oh…my…God…” her cries were muffled, “Arnavji…Arnav…”
Brutally fisting his hand around her hair, he pulled firmly, watching with animalistic hunger as her neck bared and eyes widened…
Her mouth was open and panting, with soft whimpers echoing…
“You, MY WIFE, will wash this STUPID color out of your hair,” he tightened his grip, sending a sting over her hair follicles…
His mouth zoned in on her trembling lips, and he breathed in her harsh gasps…
“…it’s too much…too…too much…you’re…taking…my…my breath away…”
 “Really?” Arnav released her hair and tenderly held her closer, “Khushi I have to REMIND myself to breathe when I’m around you…you’ve already taken my breath away…I now have to continuously remember to breathe, because you are more than I could EVER have even dreamed…”
“Stop…stop talking…”
The strain was getting more excruciating, and she felt his phallus thicken and pulse inside her…
“Stop? Stop talking!? You don’t WANT to listen to how I truly feel?” his tone was becoming harsher, “You don’t want to FACE the fact that you are no longer without me!?”
And with a body that could no longer hold back, he took out his frustration on her, suddenly pounding her with his need and his absolute desperation…
“My God Khushi! You feel…so…sooo…good…”
“I…I have…have needed you…so…so…”
“QUIET!” His thrusts lifted her higher up the wall and she wrapped her legs around his back tipping her pelvis for maximum friction against him.
“Harder…please…I…need…to…know that…you…are here…”
He battered his length brutally inside her, hard and fast, grinding their bodies together, trying to get deeper, tighter, closer.
Her nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders and her body tensed as she climaxed, shouting out his name as she tipped into oblivion.
He couldn’t hold on any longer and gave in to an orgasm that wracked his body, forcing his eyes shut as a tide of sensation rushed through him, the intensity of it leaving him weak and shaky.
They held onto each other tightly, both still coming down from their climaxes, their breathing quick and ragged.
Arnav buried his face into her hair, leaning into the wall to keep them both upright.
After a few moments, his strength returned, and he loosened his hold on her and felt her legs unwrap from around his waist.
Moving back gently, he allowed her to slip down off him and she placed her feet back on the floor but didn’t release her grip around his arms.
“It’s okay…I’m not going anywhere…”
Her hands clung tighter…
Sliding his arms around her, he rested his body against hers…”Shhhh…I’m here…”
“So…so long…without y-“
He stopped her with a quick squeeze…”No more…I’m here now…and we will start again…I know you will have moment when this will flare up again, but I will be here, every time, to remind you…that we are TOGETHER.”
Khushi tried to hold back, but her emotions erupted…
Arnav knew there was nothing he could do to help.
She had to let it out.
Holding her close, his eyes clenched hard as her every gasping sob slashed his soul…
He could hear her chanting words over and over…
“Nine years…so sorry…without you…crying so much…heart hurt…carrying your baby…holding your baby…without you…”
When she finally calmed, he didn’t know how much time had passed…
He pressed his lips to hers and spoke…”Even though I was fool enough to let this happen, God made it so you weren’t alone through this…you’ve had our little girl…she was there for you, when I couldn’t be…and for these last nine years, you have survived, and succeeded…don’t let any amount of pain take that from you Khushi…”
Her fingers pulled at his shirt, “…I should have tried to-“
“No, I don’t want you living with ANY guilt over this…You have brought up our daughter sublimely, and I am honoroed to know that she is mine…and I would love to get to know her…”
She burst into tears again, “Ofcourse…that’s what I have wanted all along…I never wanted her to be without you…but I thought…I…I just…”
“I know…shhhh….I don’t blame you, and I don’t hold you accountable for ANY of this…”
Arnav carefully slid her dress down around her hips and straightened his trousers, all while keeping his opposite arm around her…
When he looked up, he saw her head resting back against the wall, her eyes dazed and droopy…
She’s exquisite when she’s tired…
Leaning over to the chair beside them, he lifted his jacket off and pulled her away from the wall, draping the suit jacket over her shoulders…
Khushi squeezed her eyes shut as her arms instantly wound around him as she clutched onto him tight.
“Hey…shhhh…” Arnav kissed the top of her head…”I’m not going anywhere…”
Holding her close, he rocked her gently…
“Are you hungry?
She didn’t respond, just shook her head…
“It’s getting late, are you sure? We didn’t have any dinn-“
“I’m not hungry.”
Her tone was tired, and his heart began to hurt as he said…”I should…should take you home…”
Khushi’s fingers let go of his shirt, and he instantly pulled her closer, lowering his head to kiss her cheek…
“I don’t want this to end Arnavji…”
Her words hit Arnav’s reality, sending it smashing down around him…
Sweeping her up in his arms, he stared hotly into her eyes, “It’s not going to end…ever…”
Their drive home was quiet.
Arnav held her hand as she sat exhausted in her seat.
Her body felt thoroughly sedated.
How can I trust him? Should I?
She peered over at him…
I want to…I really…really want to trust him…
Arnav knew that Khushi’s thoughts would be at war, but there was not much else he could say that would help her believe him, it was up to his actions now…
He needed to prove his words.
Pulling into her driveway, he felt her extract her hand from his…
Remember to breathe…breathe…she’s still scared, she needs time to trust…breathe…you found her…she’s here…breathe…
Khushi tried to calm her nerves when he exited the car, but all she did was take a long deep breath and he was there again, opening her door, taking her hand…
His hand held hers tightly…
Now at her front door, he stepped closer, making her retreat slightly…
“Goodnight Khushi…”
All Khushi heard was ‘goodbye’ and her knees buckled…
Catching her easily, he held her close…”SHhh…this isn’t GOODBYE Khushi…I promise, I swear, I VOW to you that this is not goodbye…”
Khushi cried quietly, letting him hold her, letting herself – just for the moment – memorize how it felt being in his arms…
Stop Khushi. You can’t be this person. You have to keep it together for your daughter.
Finally, Arnav felt her try and push away…
Releasing her a few inches, he swooped in and pressed his mouth to hers…
Her quick gasp was all he heard before she started to kiss him back…
A chill swept up her back as his hands smoothed their way up…
Slowly and softly, their lips parted…
“I love you, my wife…my Khushi…”
Gathering all the courage she could, she said, “I love you too…truly…I do…I just…if…if I don’t see y-“
“YOU WILL.” he said angrily…”You will see me tomorrow…and the next day…and the next…forever…”
Her expression was one of resignation, scared to believe him…
Holding her hands, he held her gaze, “I’m asking you to do something that I have NO right to ask… TRUST ME. I’m asking you to trust me Khushi…I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU.”
“Goodnight Arnavji…”
Knowing there was nothing more he could do but wait, he let her go…
“Goodnight Khushi, I love you…”
Ready to melt into a puddle of tears, she quickly tore herself away, and disappeared inside.
Arnav stared at the front door.
“Until tomorrow…”he whispered…”I love you…”
He turned and stared to walk back to his car…
Arnav halted…
He looked from left to right and finally turned back towards the house…
His heart picked up speed when he looked into two sleepy eyes that shone from the window…
Smiling, he stepped forwards, “Shouldn’t you be asleep baby girl?”
Libbi yawned and Arnav found that he couldn’t even blink…
She is so adorable…and she’s mine…they’re both mine…Khushi AND Libbi…
“I…I’m not tiiiiiiired…”
Resting his hands on his knees, he bent down slightly and stared at his daughter…”Yeah, a likely story…yawning mid-sentence…”
Shaking her head, her messy hair flew back and forth, “I stayed up, because I wanted to ask you something…”
“Mmm? You can ask me anything…”
He waited and watched until she lifted her eyes to his…
A knifing pain sliced through his heart when he saw her eyes glistening…
“Wh…what’s wrong? Libbi? Don’t…argh…please…please don’t cry…”
Moving closer to the window, she rubbed her eyes and said, “I was afraid…”
“Afraid?” Arnav became angry, his eyes darkening…”Of what? Tell me.” his voice was now fuelled with fury as he stood tall, clutching the window sill…”Tell me what has made you afraid, and I swear, I will make it go away…”
Libbi instantly reached out and grabbed his hand…
His breathing halted, his eyes lowering to his daughters hand clutching his just as tightly as her mother had done…
Her tiny voice drifted into his soul as she said, “Don’t make it go away…”
“What? Why?” he whispered, “If it frightens you…then…What is it…tell me…”
Her fingers tightened, “It’s you daddy, I’m scared you won’t come back…”
Dropping to his knees, he was now eye level with her…
Tears fogging his gaze, he took a deep breath, “Libbi…”
She blinked a few times and yawned once more…
Arnav grinned at her cuteness, even as his heart hurt for her worries…”I can make that fear go away baby girl…”
Libbi frowned and tilted her head…
“…would you look after something for me? Keep it safe?”
She was confused, but eagerly nodded…”Yes…I can…I have a treasure box…and I even have a key to lock it…”
“R…really?” his voice cracked with emotion, but he continued, “I have an idea, how about I trade you a key for a key…”
“A key…for a key? What do you mean?”
Keeping her tiny hand in one of his, he reached into his pocket with the other and pulled something out…
“Can you keep this safe for me?”
Her wide eyes lifted to his, “A key?”
Arnav nodded, “It’s my car key…can you lock it away safely?”
Pulling her tiny hand away from his, she disappeared behind the curtain and he held his breath until she scrambled back up to the window…
“This is my treasure box…It’s not very much, but I will keep it as safe as I can…”
Passing his key to her, she opened the lid and put it next to the dried rose petals inside…
“You don’t have much in there…”
Libbi picked up a petal and closed the lid, locking it in place with the tiny key…
She turned Arnav’s hand over and placed the small key and petal in his hand…
“I have something very special inside…petals…it’s from the flower that you once gave mummy on her birthday…”
Arnav didn’t know how much more his heart could take, “The…the rose?”
Libbi nodded, “Yep…I don’t even know how it got in her drawer, but I saw her crying over it once, and she said that she shouldn’t have brought it with her, that it only reminded her of you and her birthday…”
Tears now ran freely down his face, “Libbi, I’m sorry…I’m sorry for all the years I have missed, for all the time your mother has been hurting…”
Suddenly Libbi’s eyes went wide, “Wait? You said it was your CAR key? How will you-“
“Shhhhh…You were worried that I would go away…well, I’m giving you this to help calm your worries…I won’t be leaving tonight, I’ll sleep in my car…I’ll stay here…”
“You will?”
Arnav nodded, “Yep, you need not worry…I give you my word, I will not leave, and now you have extra insurance…my key.”
Libbi looked at him, unblinking.
He lifted his eyebrows, “Libbi?”
“I trust you daddy…so does mummy, I know it.”
His heart was now speeding inside his chest, “I hope so baby girl, because I love you both so much…so much…” he cleared his throat, “Now, you need to get some sleep, I’ll see you in the morning…”
Libbi smiled big and hugged her treasure box, “Ok daddy, I feel better now!”
And she disappeared…
Arnav stood up, feeling shaky on his feet…
He didn’t bother to wipe his tears, he knew they wouldn’t be stopping any time soon…
“I will make sure that you BOTH feel better, that you BOTH have immense happiness…”
Finally feeling exhaustion take over, he opened his car door and slumped inside, reclining the seat…
Craning his neck, he heard a few cracks…
As sleep began to take over, he smiled, “…my girls…”

29 Comments leave one →
  1. December 5, 2013 6:15 am

    more than arshi i loved the libbi part:-))maybe seein him sleeping in the car might make khushi change her mind a bit……

  2. December 5, 2013 6:59 am

    I love this SS very much….Repenting + Wooing ASR…Angry+ Confused Khushi….And the cute Libbi…Awesome SS 😀

  3. December 5, 2013 8:29 am

    Aww. <'3
    Scha lovely chap, sarah !!
    Arnav iz tryin his best to make khushi believe his love ..
    Loved his convo b/w Arnav & Libbi ..

    Cn't wait to c the happy family of arshi nw ..


  4. December 5, 2013 11:08 am

    I love this ss a lot especially libbi and arnav conversation and arnav and khushi

  5. December 5, 2013 11:41 am

    two ladies to rule asr's heart now!john-angadIF

  6. December 5, 2013 12:39 pm

    Dad and daughter's conversation was very good. when will arnav take khushi home with him. how will the family react when they come to know that she has girl a child which was born for arnav. i hope khushi believes him finally and go's with him home to shantivan.

  7. December 5, 2013 1:26 pm

    I m crying. This is wht u do to me sarah. I cant live without ur stories bez tht is wht help me to live my life. I pray and wish u long and health life. If god ask me to give my lifetime to someone first i wll give it to my bro and next to u so tht i can live till the end with ur stories. by diyacute

  8. December 5, 2013 2:06 pm

    Such a lovely updateI love how Arnav has to asure her and himself that he's with her and has to even tell her that he isn't leavingI adored the conversation between Arnav and Libbi, they're already created a bond between each other and it's so cute how Arnav just gave her his car keys to ensure that he isn't leaving…

  9. sessy01 permalink
    December 5, 2013 2:28 pm

    arnav and khushi’s scenes were very hot and emotional.khushi trying to say good bye and ilu as if arnav is not comming back shows how much she is sure that he is going to leave her as he did last time.hope she comes out of it soon.
    while reading arnav and libbi conversation i was crying very bad.Sarah u are a very talented writer and this update is the proof of that.
    thx for the update,loved it

  10. December 5, 2013 2:31 pm

    oh,,,, beautiful….. Libbi is a sensible girl,,,, she knows that her father will make everything alright……….but here Arnav is also emotionally broken,,,, poor thing ,,,,,hope there will be one part atleast where Khushi will realize the pain and hurt Arnav was in all these nine years….loved the update

  11. December 5, 2013 3:55 pm

    amazing updatecan't wait for more of arnav and libbi

  12. December 5, 2013 4:30 pm

    Arnav made sure that Khushi knows he is not leavingWow loved how he also assured Libbi that he was leavingby giving her his car keyssuch a sweet moment for the father and daughterI love how she instantly calls his daddy with so much love

  13. December 5, 2013 4:47 pm

    Awwwhhh libbi is soooo cuteeeeeeAmazinggg update!!!

  14. pavi permalink
    December 5, 2013 7:11 pm

    If I say I loved the khushi and arnav scene than I loved libbi and arnav scene 200 times more
    Its so innocent but yet very intense, the best thing you conveyed here is unlike sons who are more towards mothers, daughters equally feel the pain of their mother and father, and you brought that out so beautifully. Libbi reached out to his father, and true to its saying arnav was poccessive about his daughter too like his wife. Libbi will bridge her parents together faster. What her mother could only express , her daughter demanded that from her father so naturally that she wanted him

  15. December 5, 2013 11:43 pm

    Aww loved the arnav libbi talkrohinid IF

  16. December 5, 2013 11:55 pm

    Awww libbi she makes everything better. …!!!!

  17. December 6, 2013 12:39 am

    Loved Libbi's and arnavs convo, too cute! Please update soon.

  18. December 6, 2013 6:52 am

    Arnav n libbi's convo..darn cute!!

  19. December 6, 2013 4:04 pm

    Awesome update

  20. December 7, 2013 3:35 am

    the last part made me cry Libbi is so cute feel for Kushi undercoverhappy

  21. December 7, 2013 3:05 pm

    Loved this story… Loved Libbi nd Arnav's convo… Update soon.. 🙂 IF id B.S.I_Love_You

  22. December 7, 2013 5:16 pm

    oh I loved it desikhushi is emotionally week, but the scen of libbi and arnav was heart touching

  23. sruthick permalink
    December 8, 2013 7:07 pm

    Amazing update…
    Loved it..
    Especially Arnav – Libbi scene…
    She s so cute….

  24. December 11, 2013 6:54 am

    Wohhhh R u planing to kill me u naughty desi girl!Dat update was a blend of Erotica+passion+Romance+Father-daughter Love!!!Khushi is so unsure abt her feelings herself .. I bet she still aint clear wht her heart wants .. well its sure arnav wud leave no stone unturned in getting her back but looks like he might wanna try harder !!the father-daughter convo stole the thrill of the update !!Well wen he gave his keys to libbi i knew his plan but i thought he might knock on the door n tell khushi "a.. a..woh ..khushi … i lost my keys … can i stay ..overnight" but ha ha out of nowhere u changed the climax!! but i loved ur turn much more dan mine !!! dat was a cute gesture of him showing his love for her .. guessing what wud be khushi's reaction after she finds arnav sleeping in the car the next morning !!!P.S-Very Well carved dear !!

  25. December 13, 2013 11:53 am

    Wow awesome!!!
    I read all the parts at once and I must say that it was amazing..:)
    I really love the connection between Arnav and Libbi, she sounds really cute!

  26. December 13, 2013 11:56 am

    Wow, that was Awesome!!!
    I read all the parts at once and I must say that its a really amazing story 😀
    Love the Arnav-Libbi connection, its really cute
    And Arnav-Khushi scenes are really touching!
    Good work 😀

  27. December 16, 2013 11:29 am

    hi,is everything ok. havent heard from you in like a week and a half.I hope all is well.loveak

  28. pavi permalink
    December 17, 2013 6:13 pm

    We are missing your writing. Please give some updates

  29. December 18, 2013 1:46 am

    hey sara, Arnav has been sleeping for a long time now in his SUV. wake him up ,Please. his back and neck must be sore. loveak

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