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FROZEN… REBOOTED!!!!!

February 16, 2015

As you all remember,  I rebooted (rewrote and added more story to) “I Feel Nothing”  awhile ago… Well…

I shall also be ‘Rebooting’ the following stories!

I Can’t Let Her Go!
FROZEN

So stay tuned,  and be ready to relive the passion!

And here is the first part of FROZEN! Part 2 coming soon! with MANY steamy scenes! 😀

 FROZEN Part 1



The area was deserted…dark…

Two men stood facing each other…

“Where the HELL is she!” 



Arnav’s normally controlled and steady voice was now full of terror…

Laughter echoed all around as Shyam evaded answering the question…

“I will kill you if you don’t tell me where she is!” Arnav said racing forwards.


Shyam shrugged, as if Khushi’s life meant nothing…”Saale Saab…you can do what you want to me…because with her gone… I may as well be too…”

Gone?! GONE!?


Arnav staggered back, turning as white as a ghost…”Gone…?…What have you done…Damn it, where is she?!”

Shyam’s lip twitched with jealousy, “Why do you care!?”

“Because she’s my wife!”

“YOUR wife?!” Shyam scoffed, “She hated you! You MADE her hate you! You made her life miserable!”

“I…I don’t hate her!!! And I don’t CARE what you say, she’s still my wife! Under MY protection!”

It was now Shyam’s turn to erupt.


His face turned red as he shouted…”YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!”


Arnav’s face was now boiling red, his voice an earthquaking rumble, “Because you cheated on my sister you asshole! I did what I HAD to do to ensure Di’s safety!”


“Oh and what a mistake that was…”


Arnav couldn’t understand what was going on…


“Mistake!?”


Shyam crossed his arms, “well, well, well…the powerful Arnav Singh Raizada hasn’t been able to see it…”

 Arnav’s mind was now blind with anger as he yelled …”What are you talking about!?”

With eyes now as cold as ice, he glared, “Even if you got to her in time…she’ll hate you forever…because guess what, she never loved me…she NEVER wanted me…”


Shyam’s words hit Arnav’s chest with the force of a flying dagger…


“Ah, I think you’re understanding now?” Shyam’s voice was almost mocking…”You believed me so fast….it’s almost as if you WANTED to believe the worst of her…it’s YOU she loved, and ME she hated…she even protected Rani Saba, asking me to leave her and spare her the pain…”


Shit…oh shit…what…what have I…oh God…


“But now, YOU have ended up being the one to ruin her life…her hopes…her dreams…you’ve always been the one WINNING! WELL NOW! It’s my turn! If I can’t have her, YOU can’t either!…”

Arnav swung so swiftly and suddenly that his punch landed brutally on Shyam’s jaw…


Feeling little satisfaction hearing his groans, he grabbed Shyam’s collar and roared…”TELL. ME. WHERE. SHE. IS.”

A smirk spread across his bloodied face as he rasped, “Try the middle of the lake…in a small boat…in the dark…freezing…” 


“You…you left her…in the dark?! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

Arnav swung once more knocking Shyam out completely, and with fury and fear induced speed, he bolted to his car and sped away…




…………



Shivering…


“Ss…so…so…cold…”

Khushi could hardly breathe…she was so cold…her hands could barely move…

“Arnavji won’t come for me…” she kept repeating…her voice barely audible…”He won’t come…no…”



…………



Arnav slammed on the brakes as he drove to the river edge…”KHUSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Nothing.

It was so dark, and he could hardly see more than 2 meters out in the river…

He grabbed a torch from his car, and ran to find the nearest boat…

What he found was small but had a motor…



He spent a few minutes trying to get it working…but it wouldn’t start…he kept cursing at it and finally it spluttered to a start…

He could feel the chill in the air, and was terrified for Khushi…


Looking around desperately, he called out for her, “Khushi?! Khushi!? Damn it, please give me some sign you can hear me!!!”


About 20 minutes later after slowly drifting, he saw a small boat lodged at the side of the river’s edge…


“Oh my God, please let this be her…please…”


Speeding up, he hurriedly jumped out racing over…

He saw her.


She hardly moved…


A small amount of relief swept through him…


He didn’t want to startle her so he called her name gently as he put his hand on her shoulder…


“Khu-” he gasped as he flinched back…


Ice cold.


His heart thudded…


“Fuck…” He jumped in the boat with Khushi and pulled off his jacket wrapping it around her…


Her body was stiff…


“Khushi!…oh my God…Khushi…no no no…Khushi!!!”


He leant his face forward so they were cheek to cheek…he felt small shallow breaths 

on his cheek and knew she was still alive…


“Thank God…Khushi, can you hear me?”


As he took out his phone to call for an ambulance, all the while, he held her close letting his breath warm her pale face…

As soon as he hung up he desperately tried to wake her…


He couldn’t get any response…


His eyes burned at the sight before him…


“Khushi…” his voice cracking…”Khushi…please…”


He bent down and touched her lips with his…so cold…


Tears were now raining down from his eyes…


“No…no it can’t end this way…Khushi! Do you hear me!!! I have been in love you for so long! Don’t you dare stop breathing! Do you hear me! I’m sorry! I didn’t know…I…”


He was yelling so loudly…


He shook her slightly…


No response.


“Where is that bloody ambulance…” he haphazzardly turned his head, searching…


But his senses were attuned to the woman in his arms…”Khushi…move! Talk! Do something! Please!!!!”


Anguish was overtaking him…


He needed to her …


His LIFE was her…


Khushi’s body was warming slightly but was still so cold…


Arnav kept his face close to hers incase she tried to say something or incase anything else happened…

“Khushi! I love you! I need you! Wake up! Move! Say something…!!!”

He heard sirens in the distance…

“About fucking time!!!” he grumbled, turning back to her, “Help is coming…Khushi…do you hear me!? K..khushi…” his lips were touching hers…


He kept repeating her name when he felt her lips twitch slightly…he stilled…he heard her have difficulty breathing…


“Oh…God, please…Khushi…” his heart was wrenching in pain for her…”Khushi…? Can you hear me? Help is coming!? Hold on please…”

Arnav saw her lips quivering as she tried to mutter something…


Leaning in close, he put his ear to her lips, and what he heard killed him inside…

“Arnavji won’t come for me…”

……….

Arnav felt his soul shrink back in horror…


“…no…No…NO!” he shook her gently…”KHUSHI!…I’m here! I did come! I’m here! I’m here for you damn it!!!”

Not another sound came from her…she lay cold and motionless…


Arnav held her body close to his saying…”Khushi, I DID COME for you! I’m here!”

He heard the ambulance approaching…


He had kept her close to him hoping that body heat would keep her breathing…he knew that trying to warm her hands and feet may send her into shock so he kept running his hands up and down her back, her sides, along her stomach, on her face and neck…


She was getting paler…

“Khushi…don’t leave me…” he never felt more helpless in his life…


Khushi had done the one thing that no one, not even his Di, could do…


She broke into the locked recesses of his heart. 


She was the sustenance he needed for life… 


And he had slowly destroyed her…


Here she was, fading before his eyes…

Arnav held her so tight, anguish cutting through him feeling how cold and lifeless she was…


He showered her face with kisses, each kiss feeling like a cold knife along his lips…

He heard the ambulance approaching finally…


Lifting Khushi delicately out of the boat, he ran to towards the flashing lights…


Arnav carried her  into the ambulance and  lay her down on the stretcher…


The paramedics wrapped her in blankets and began checking her blood pressure… 


Arnav’s spinning head only caught some information they were spouting…


“severe hypothermia…very low blood pressure…heart rate slow…cellular activity decreasing…”


She wasn’t regaining consciousness…


Arnav knew that if she didn’t make it, HE wouldn’t make it…his whole life revolved around Khushi…

His only hope was hearing the beeping of the heart monitor…as long as her heart was beating, his heart would continue beating…

Everything was a blur the moment they arrived at the hospital…

Noise.


Screams.


Stretchers moving.


Screeching wheels…

The shrill hospital light brought to life the severity of her condition…


His fast breathing was constricting his chest as he saw how pale she was…


The oxygen mask helping her breathe was working hard…


Her tiny cold body was covered with blankets and insulation…


Emergency teams were hovering over her from every angle…

“Why won’t she wake up dammit!”  Arnav screamed

“Mr. Raizada, please let us do out job…she has severe hypothermia and…”

The conversation was interrupted…by silence…

Every part of Arnav stilled…



His eyes now filled with terror…of all the buzzing noises in the hospital, one sound had stopped…


Khushi’s heartbeat…


“What…no…NO…” Arnav rushed towards her screaming, “NO! KHUSHI!!!!!!!”

Arnav felt like his very being had just been plunged into hell…

His mouth went dry…


He felt his throat closing up…


as soon as he reached her he held her face in his hands screaming her name…

“Khushi! Khushi! No no no! Please! Wake up! Open your eyes!!!”

The doctors hurriedly went to Arnav trying to pry his hands off her…”Mr. Raizada…please let us see to her! You need to back off!”

But Arnav wasn’t registering anything…His eyes were glued to his wife, his tears pelting her face…

Security came and pried him away as he kept yelling her name screaming, “NO! NO! KHUSHI! KHUSHI!!!!!!!!!”

“Please Mr. Raizada. Let the Doctors try to resuscitate her…”

“Get your hands off me! I need to wake her up! She doesn’t even know that I came for her! She needs to know that I came for her! That I love her! I need…I need…”

The guards were used to handling anguished family members, but even their hearts were straining for Arnav…


It took 4 of them to finally hold him at bay, where all he could do was wait and watch…

Arnav continued to struggle against them…”Please…I need…I need her to know how sorry I am…How much I love here…Please…”


He willed his own heart to stop…


He wanted all this to be a nightmare that he could wake up from…

“Why aren’t you doing more! Work faster! What’s wrong! What has happened?!”

The doctors needed to tell Arnav all the facts … 


One of them approached him saying, “Sir, your wife’s heart appears to have stopped.”

“What!? She’s… is she? NO, get the FUCK back over there and help her!!! Wake her up!!!”

“Please listen…we are trying to get her body back to normal body temperature since extreme hypothermia can suppress heart and brain function…please be aware that until then, we don’t know where she is…she may come back, or…”

“OR WHAT! NO ‘OR’! YOU BRING HER BACK DAMMIT!”

“Sir, we have to be truthful. Once her body is back to the normal temperature, if her heart doesn’t start again, we have to pronounce her legally dead. I’m so sorry, I know this is difficult, but we’re not there yet…just give us time…”

Arnav’s whole body went into shock. 


He couldn’t speak. 


He couldn’t move…


All he could do was look at her…


Security continued to restrain him as Arnav watched in terror as they started Active Internal Rewarming Techniques…

No heartbeat.

His body wrenched in pain as the doctors attached intravenous fluids to her arms…as they pushed tubes into her throat…

No heartbeat.

Arnav’s breathing started to get faster…his rage building…his fear escalating…

He heard the doctors say, “Normal temperature reached. Begin resuscitation. . .”

This was it. 


With beastly aggression and strength, Arnav broke free from being held back and raced to her side…


He came to a shuddering halt before her and carefully picked up her hand and held her lifeless pulse point  to his lips… 


His bloodshot eyes were fixed on her…


Security came to try and apprehend him once again, but the doctors motioned them to stop…”Let him…this may be the end…”



………




 

Arnav stayed perfectly still…

Praying that God would bring her back. . .


If she didn’t make it he would die…


Whether his heart stopped or not, he would die right along with her…

Arnav braced himself as they started trying to bring Khushi back to life…

His heart hammered in his chest…

Arnav whispered, her hand still against his lips… “Khushi, I know you can hear me…wake up…please…I have no life without you…please come back to me…”

He heard all the doctors talking around him…

“1st try unsuccessful.”

“Prepare to try once more…”

Arnav, now squeezing her hand, his voice breaking through rasping sobs…”Khushi…no…please…come back…please…”

The second he said that he felt a slight twitch against his lips…electricity shot through him…

The heart monitor beeped once and shut down again…

“We had her for a second but we’ve lost her again…prepare 3rd attempt!”

Arnav’s angst returned and he released her hand and leaned over her, holding her face in his hands.


“Khushi..! This is your husband speaking to you! Don’t you DARE give up! Please Khushi! Wake up! Please! Khushi! I’m sorry! I’m SORRY!”

His tears splattered her face as the doctors kept trying…

This had been going on for only two minutes, and yet it felt like eternity…


Arnav was getting desperate for some, ANY reaction! 


Any fleeting hope he had soon disappeared!

Finally Arnav heard things around him go quiet…


He looked up, his heart in turmoil…


He stared into the sad faces of the doctors…


“no…” he shook his head…”no…she’s…no…”

“I’m sorry Mr. Raizada…”

“n..n..no…” his rasping voice was nearly silent…

“We tried everything we could…”

Arnav now past rage and fear just broke down…he threw himself on her…harshly weeping…”No…No…Khushi…No!!!!!”

Arnav grabbed her by the shoulders and yanked her up against him…one hand behind her head, another round her back…


He pressed his forehead against hers…”No!!! No please!!! Khushi!!!” he screamed in despair feeling her limp body sag in his arms…

He angled his head and kissed her, firmly yet briefly…”I’m sorry, I’m sorry is not enough…I wanted to give you so much…I wanted to love you…I’m a bloody fool…Khushi…I WANTED you as my wife…I wanted to tell you all this…I wanted you to KNOW all this, and now…”…his mind reminded him…”I never even told her that I love her…”


 The serevity of all he’d done was now a colossal burden, heavier than anything he’d every felt…


Laying her back against the bed he stood up…


His eyes now engorging with brutal rage…


He knew who was responsible for this…and that person was going to pay…


A life for a life…


He took one last look at the love of his life and leant over her one final time, “I am in love with you Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada!”  and he bolted from the room, ready to avenge his wife.

He ran out so fast that he failed to hear the heart monitor start to beep again…

……………

Arnav burst into the Raizada Mansion…


Everyone was in the lounge and they immediately stood up…

“Chote, what happened? Where is Khushiji?”

At the mention of Khushi’s name he exploded…”SHUT UP! EVERYONE JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!”

They were all in shock at his attitude…


Nani started to speak…“Chote…what is…”

“I SAID…SHUT. UP!” His eyes weren’t his own…they held raging fire…his body was shaking with caged anger…

They all stayed silent.


“WHERE. IS. SHYAM.”

They all looked at each other, and before they could answer Arnav yelled again…

“I SAID, WHERE IS HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Anjali was in tears, “Chote, he gave Khushiji a lift to her house…you know that…you went to pick her up…and Shyam, he hasn’t returned home yet…what is this all about? Where is Khushiji?”

Arnav was trying to hold it together…

He shut his eyes…his thoughts going a mile a minute…

“My wife…my Khushi…How do i tell them…what do i say…”

His mind was in pieces…


He wanted to collapse on the floor and cry his heart out for his wife…but his eyes shot open…

“NO…he will pay…He will FUCKING PAY for the lies he told me!!!” and he turned on his heel and stormed out, completely ignoring the cries and questions of his family…

He got in his car and drove to the lake where he found Khushi…


He braked fast and jumped out of the car rushing down to the river’s edge…

He wanted to die, but more than that, he was out for blood…

His phone started to ring…

He picked up without saying a word…

“Arnav…you’ll never find me…but I take it you found her…”

“you asshole!…I am going to MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! How could you do this to her!!!!! If you loved her like you claimed, WHY!!! She was innocent! She died thinking I hated her! And this is ALL YOUR FAULT! Mark my words…YOU WILL REGRET THIS NIGHT!”

Shyam just laughed as Arnav hung up…

As soon as he disconnected, his phone rang again…

Arnav saw that it was the hospital…


Overcome with sorrow, he threw his phone into the river…

“HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!” he fell to his knees weeping….”she was perfect…she was mine…AND NOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LAST THING SHE SAID WAS THAT I WOULDN’T COME FOR HER!”

His screams were echoing across the water…

His bitter cries pierced the night sky…

He knew the hospital was only calling for him to finalize everything…but his heart couldn’t take it…his heart was refusing to believe that she was gone…images of her lifeless body flashed in his mind…he clutched his chest furiously…

“She has my heart! I can’t live if she doesn’t live!….I need to see her…she can’t be dead…” hearing that word come out of his mouth in association with Khushi made him keel over in pain…

“NO, I WON’T LET THIS END THIS WAY! I CAN’T!”

Feeling delirious with pain he dashed to his car and sped back to the hospital…



…………………


The heart monitor started beeping. . .


The doctors immediately attached a ventilator to Khushi and started checking her…


Her pulse was faint…but it was there…

“Go find him! Call him back NOW!” yelled one Doctor…

The security guards bolted after Arnav but he had already disappeared…

“I’m sorry Doctor, we can’t find him…”

“Then call him! Search for him! His wife is not dead!”

“yes sir! We’ll keep calling…”

“Do it!!! Before he does something drastic!”


The Doctors checked Khushi’s blood pressure…it was still  low but her heartbeat was getting more regulated…


She couldn’t suck air into her lungs by herself yet so they made sure the ventilator stayed on…and kept her under constant observation…

“Have you reached Mr. Raizada?!”



…………………..



The pain inside him was so great that it felt like his flesh was being torn off his body…


His mind was agonizing over Khushi’s death, but his heart was demanding that she was still alive…


He pulled up to the front of the hospital and looked towards the door…


Flashbacks of Khushi being wheeled in, the heart monitor stopping, her pulse flickering against his lips, and the feel of her limp body…he let out a sharp cry…

He almost drove off when he felt his pulse beat wildly…

He shook his head…”No…this is NOT the end…”

He darted into the hospital…


He ran straight room where he had left Khushi…only to find her gone…


He was aching for her and started yelling, “someone tell me where my wife is RIGHT NOW!”


The Doctor saw him and immediately rushed to his side…”Mr. Raizada, we’ve been trying to contact…”


“Where is she!”


“can you please listen…”


“I SAID WHERE IS SHE!!!!!”


“Mr. Raizada…”


“YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING TEAR YOU APART! TAKE ME TO MY WIFE!!!!”

The doctor, seeing that he wasn’t going to get through to him, ushered him around the corner to one of the intensive care rooms…

Arnav’s breathing was unstable…he kept looking round trying to find where they’d taken her…

The doctor took him to a room and quickly pushed him in so that Arnav would be jolted into realization…

Arnav was angrily shoved into a dark room…


He almost turned back to swing at the Doctor but froze when he heard soft beeping sounds from nearby…


He couldn’t move.


He was terrified to look…


The doctor understood the extreme pain he was in, held Arnav’s arm, turning him around…

Arnav couldn’t breathe.


His world stood still.


Time stopped.

With tears raining down his face he lunged forward to the bed touching her, holding her hand…kissing her skin

“oh my God, oh my God…you’re alive…oh God…i thought…i thought…”

“We’ve been trying to reach you…the second you told her you were in love with her , her pulse started, but you had already made a run for it…we tried to call you…”

Arnav broke down and let it all out…his fear, his anger, his remorse…


The Doctor put a hand on Arnav’s shoulder and tried to console him…he knew the husband, or family went through just as much as his patients…

“Is she…? is… is she alright? is she in any pain? what…I mean…how…” Arnav needed answers…

“We don’t know how…but what we do know is that she’s stable for now, but not out of danger yet…her heartbeat is regular, but she can’t breathe on her own yet…the hypothermia has constricted her throat, and crushed her lungs making it hard for her to draw breath…”

Arnav couldn’t bare to hear this…

“…we will know more when she wakes up…”

His heart started to beat furiously…

“WHEN she wakes up? Not IF?”

“No, she will wake up…but we don’t know when…hypothermia can make the heart appear redundant, but once the body temperature has regulated it needs time to restart…we now just need to wait…”

“I’m not leaving her.”

“we weren’t going to ask you to sir…Talk to her, she can hear you. I need to continue my rounds, press the help button if you need anything…”

And the doctor excused himself leaving Arnav alone with Khushi…

……………

Arnav sat staring at her…

Sadness pervaded his entire being.

What this woman had gone through because of a lie was a travesty, and what he had done to her was criminal.

And once again his memory demons rose up, reminding him of the numerous occasions over the last couple of months when Khushi looked so happy and he would do something to eradicate her smile…


He had pushed her away, his anger for her overrode everything…

Looking at his beautiful wife’s face, he felt his spirit shatter…


He hated seeing her here like this…


Seeing her cry gave his heart pain, but seeing her lay here after almost dying gave his heart lacerations…


He wanted to just pick her up and carry her safely home to his bed…


Tears sprang to his eyes and he fought them back, increasing the pounding in his sore head…


She had never been in his bed…


He made her sleep outside…


His heart plunged in pain again…

“Outside…” his voice cut into himself…”Outside like an animal…you heartless fuck!!!”


Khushi had suffered tremendous anguish already for his stupid mistakes.


He’d be damned if he was once again the cause of her pain…


His head was throbbing and he leant down to rest his head next to her…”Never again…NEVER…oh God Khushi…” grief filled his voice, “Khushi I won’t ever let you be hurt again…ever…please Khushi, hear me when I say, I love you…I love you…I…I love…love you…” he slowly fell asleep…



…………..




Arnav woke up an hour later…


His mind was groggy, trying to figure out where he was…


But in seconds, he saw that he was slumped in a threadbare chair in the intensive care ward…


All the events from hours before came screaming back to him…


Without any thought, other than to see if she was alive as quickly as possible, Arnav  grabbed her hand. 


His shaking fingers pressed against the pulse, and he collapsed against her bed feeling the reassuringly faint beat…


Even though the monitors were beeping consistently, he needed to feel it coming from her…

Once he felt her flickering pulse he slightly calmed, only to realize his head was pounding like a jackhammer. 


But that pain was easy, compared to the pain in his heart…

Moving closer, he whispered…”Khushi…can you hear me? Khushi i’m here…I’m here and i’m not leaving…I need you…I need you Khushi …Wake up please…” his voice was coarse, tired from crying and screaming…

Khushi started regaining consciousness, she heard beeping…then she heard…“I need you, I need you Khushi…Wake up please…”

She gritted her teeth and then tried to force long, deep breaths through her body, only to have intense pain spike through her chest…


Oh God what is that!?

Arnav heard her gasp and start to make choking sounds…


Shivers of dread and terror skittered down his spine…

He rushed to the door screaming for the doctor…


Almost instantly the doctor was as her side…


“What’s wrong?! Is she okay!? Don’t you dare let her go again…!!!!!!”

Arnav was trying to survive this right along with Khushi…


When this was all over he’d hold her safe in his arms, then he would let his emotions go…


But right now, he had to keep strong…

Fear kept his feet frozen to the floor. 


He was so afraid to move, breathe, or ask anything… 


If Khushi was fading again, he really, truly, did not want to know. 


If he stayed here, not knowing … at least there was still hope.

The doctor brought her spluttering under control and Khushi drifted back into her subconscious…

“…okay…she’s stable again…her throat and chest muscle are probably in pain from the effect of the cold…she regained consciousness momentarily and tried to breathe on her own which is a-“

“…she woke up?” Arnav felt his heart finally beat out some life inside him…”She…she…are  you  saying…”

The doctor smiled briefly and nodded…”Yes, she woke up for a few seconds…keep talking to her…she can hear everything you say…since she has momentarily regained consciousness I should prepare you for  when she fully wakes…”


Anxiety filled his heart…”…um…prepare me? What do you mean?”

“…we have no way of knowing how she will react when she awakes. She may be completely fine and just emotional over the ordeal, or she may experience some memory loss, disorientation, hypoglycemia…but the most common is Dysphoria …”

Arnav was almost in tears again…”shit…how much more is she going to have to take!?” he thought…

“Dysphoria is  a mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of depression, discontent and indifference to the world around them…if this occurs in a patient that is already emotionally hurt or depressed then the effects would only worsen…”

Fear.


Complete fear.


Khushi HAD been depressed and hurt already…


Arnav asked, “…worsen? Worsen how!?”

“Well, like I said, a trauma like this would make the patient feel indifference…and this would heighten the risk of suicide…”

“WHAT!? No. No. No I won’t let her. I am barely surviving THIS! I’ll keep watch on her, I won’t let anyone hurt her…you can’t mean that!?”

“It’s sad but true…the inner turmoil becomes too much…but Sir, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a loving and protective husband…your wife will be in safe hands no matter the outcome…” 


The pager on the Doctor’s coat began to beep, and he excused himself…


Once again, Arnav was alone with his wife…

He just stared at her…


Shocked into immobility…


He now had a new fear to face…


Fiery streaks of guilt pumped through him…


Khushi WAS already emotionally hurting…


Her spirit had been beaten down…


He’d selfishly and cowardly denied her from love, played with her heart, he lied with every breath, he hurt her with his words, he married her just to keep his sister happy, which in turn brought out Shyam’s psychotic behaviour… 


And now…


Now she was in serious condition and almost died because of all his stupid decisions…


His heart plunged into darkness…

Holding her hand in his two shaking hands, he kissed her fingers…”I won’t let anything happen to you sweetheart…I’m not ever going to leave your side…EVER…do you hear me Khushi!? When you wake up, no one, no matter who they are will dare hurt you…from this moment, you are first and foremost in my life…I am NOT going to lose you…”

He held her hand against his lips…


Her fingers were cold…


He kissed almost every part of her hand letting his warm breath heat her skin…

Some doctors re-entered the room … “Mr. Raizada?”


He opened his eyes slowly…”Yeah…?”


“Is there anyone else that you would like us to contact?”

The thought of ANYONE being around Khushi right now filled him with anger…


“No.”

“she has no other family?”

“…She does…But they are to wait until tomorrow…I just want to be to be with her at the moment…no one else…”

“ofcourse…also there was a man calling asking after her and yourself…”

This jerked Arnav to attention…


He tightened his grip on Khushi’s hand… “What man…”

“He didnt leave his name…we aren’t legally allowed to give him any information other than if a patient is here of not, so he knows your wife is here and he just told us to tell you that he’d be back soon to finish his job…”

Arnav’s hard eyes glared at the doctor…


He placed Khushi’s hand down carefully and stood up straight…”Listen carefully. Do NOT let anyone, ANYONE, into this room without my permission. I don’t CARE who it is…her sister, my sister, her mother…I . DON’T . CARE . You will tell them to wait, and inform me FIRST. Have I made myself clear?”

The doctor was momentarily taken aback…”Ofcourse…sir may i say, i really think she’s drawing a lot of her strength from you…she’s very lucky to have such a caring husband…” 


And the doctor left…

Arnav felt sick…” but I haven’t been a caring husband…” he wept softly while clinging to Khushi’s hand once more…


He was literally scared to take his fingers off her pulse…

“Khushi, the doctors say you can hear me…my heart says you can hear me…” he took a deep shaky breath…

“I CAME FOR YOU KHUSHI…I was scared beyond belief when you weren’t at your Buaji’s house…I searched for you for hours…I’m so sorry for getting there too late…If I got to you sooner you wouldn’t be laying here fighting to stay alive…If I hadn’t have treated you so abominably you wouldn’t be here at all…I’m so sorry Khushi…so so sorry…please forgive me…I…I can’t…I can’t be without you…”

The Doctors came in frequently to check on her…


They asked Arnav if he needed anything…


But all Arnav needed was Khushi…”I just need her to wake up…I just need her…”


Hours drifted by…

Arnav leaned closer to Khushi, “I love you Khushi…”

He sat closer and held her hand in his…

“I never hated you…never… Every time I saw you my heart ached with love for you…but I worked so hard to drown those feelings…I just wanted to keep my love buried…i believed lies…i said hideous things to you instead of allowing you to explain…I should never have blamed you for anything. You are the most innocent and pure person i know…”

Arnav sat staring at her…

He wished it was him laying there instead…


He wished it was him suffering…

Dying for Khushi would be no hardship. 

He’d die a million times over if it would take away her pain.

He had no idea what time it was…


He didn’t care…


If he had to sit next to her forever, he would…


He closed his eyes praying that she would wake up soon…

Tired and worried to the point of dellirium, he rubbed his eyes that were sore and red from the constant flow of tears…


Suddenly he snapped to attention when he thought he felt a small tug on his hand…

“Khushi…sweetheart…” his eyes searched her face…”my God, i miss you…please wake up…”

And he fell asleep…



Almost four hours later…

He was woken up by the arrival of the doctor…

“Sir, we’re sorry to wake you, but we’ve been receiving frantic phonecalls from your family asking if you are here. Apparently your sister can’t reach you…”

Arnav had to shake his head to try to get his bearings…

His eyes shot over to Khushi immeditely checking her pulse…

“She’s doing fine Sir…”

Arnav had slept awhile and was now revamped with fresh ASR power…

“FINE?! Does she really look bloody FINE to you!?”

Clamoring back, the doctor changed his tone…”I’m sorry sir, ofcourse she’s not fine, but she’s stable and we’ve been checking on her constantly….I think you’ll be pleased to know that we can remove the ventilator, as she is now breathing quite well by herself…”

Arnav felt pure joy fill his heart as the doctor removed the large object from her mouth…

“Oh God…thankyou…” and he bent down and kissed Khushi softly on her lips…

He breathed in her scent…”I’m here Khushi…”


The doctor cleared his throat…”Now sir, we have waited till morning to inform you that your family have been calling…we had to tell  them you were here, but uninjured. We informed them you were here for your wife…and they are now waiting outside the ward…”


THEY are waiting!?

“WELL THEY CAN WAIT!”

The doctor flinched, but nodded…”…we told them that… We are respecting your wishes.”

Arnav’s eyes softened towards the respect the doctor was giving to him, despite his rudeness…

“Thankyou…I’m sorry…I’m just…thankyou for understanding…”

“It’s okay, this has been very serious, and we are all quite shocked at the fast progress your wife is making…but, we don’t have time to go and inform your family…this ward is full of people needing our assistance…is there anyway you can go and let them know how your wife is?”

Arnav looked back…he couldn’t let go of Khushi…


His eyes were stuck to her…he didn’t want to leave her…

“I could call them here if you like…”

Arnav looked up at the doctor…”No…I don’t want anyone near her…I’m sorry, but i’m very protective of her and…fuck…” he could see no way out of it…”I will be back within 5 minutes…”

“I understand…I won’t be far from her room…”

Arnav kissed Khushi’s hand and gently laid it down on the bed…


He finally tore himself away to speak to the family…

…………………..

Beeping. 


Noise. 


Echoing thoughts.

“Arnavji won’t come for me……”

“I love you Khushi…..”

“Arnavji won’t come for me…..”

“I need you, don’t leave me…”

“Arnavji won’t come for me….”

Khushi’s eyes opened slowly…


She painfully lifted her hands to her head…


Her mind was throbbing…”hospital?….how did i get here?”

Her mind flashed back …….. 

The lake…

The boat…

The flashing sirens…

Piercing lights…

And finally 


“I am in love with you Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada!”

Khushi pushed herself up from the bed, moaning with the agony that tore through her body…


“How did I get here?! Oh no…Did Arnavji come for me?” 


Her thoughts were racing…


Her body wracked with pain…


She felt overcome with fear…


“…have…have to get out of here…I NEED to get out of here…”

She hobbled to the door, seeing Doctors there…


Her head was spinning, but she finally managed to openthe door and stumble out…


Walking drunkenly down the corridor towards the exit of the ward, she began to whimper as her body doubled over in pain….


She saw the doors…


The Exit…


However, the closer she got, the blurrier everything became…

“…no…no I…I need to get out…need to find…need to find…”

She felt herself falling…

“Need to find….”

Blacker…


Falling….

“Arnavji…”




…………



The second the family saw Arnav they began yelling at him for his neglect to inform them of what was happening…

Arnav felt like he was capable of harming someone.

He quickly said, “SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! Khushi actually died yesterday! I thought she WAS dead! But she came back! And is in intensive care here being looked after…And if any of you push me today i won’t be responsible for my actions!”

They were silent.

Arnav started telling them of Khushi’s condition and that he wasn’t going to leave the hospital till she left with him…

When they asked HOW this happened, he told them all to sit… 

“I am going to tell you. But let me first warn you, I know that this will devastate some of you, but right now, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN, because MY WIFE, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, is laying in a hospital bed fighting for her life! Shyam. He tried to kill her. And Payal, I know you know about the situation so you can tell everyone…right now…i’m going to be with my wife…” 


“Chote!? What!? You can’t just leave after telling me-“


“I can’t!?” the distain and disgust in his expression quieted them all…”I am going…TO MY WIFE!”

Arnav knew that they were all in shock, especially his Di, but she was a grown woman, about to be a mother, and she had family there to help her…

Arnav finally knew where his devotion now lived – in the heart of the woman that held his love…his life…his very soul…

He literally ran back to the intensive care ward…

He burst through the doors…

And his breath was literally knocked out of his lungs as Khushi fell into his arms breathing his name…

…………..

Arnav’s heart thudded and his mind was in utter shock as Khushi fell into his arms…

He heard her breathe his name…

His hands gripped her tightly…

He lifted her faster than the speed of light and held her tight against him feeling her warm breath on his neck…

He heard absolutely nothing as he rushed her back to her room and laid her carefully on the bed…

Doctors were buzzing around him asking what happened…

Arnav, still holding her hand…stood up and shouted, “GET OUT! EVERYONE OUT! RIGHT NOW!”

“sir, we don’t know what happened! How did she? Where…”

Arnav grabbed the doctor’s collar in one clenched fist…”I SAID…GET OUT…”

The doctor hurried out of the room…

Alone.

Darkened Room.

Blinds Drawn

Arnav lifted her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest……whispering, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Khushi…I’m here…you’re safe…” against her hair…

He felt Khushi start to tremble and move against him…

He became acutely alert….”Khushi…? Khushi i’m here…I’m here…”

Khushi’s mind woke up and remembered the hospital…remembered running, trying to find Arnav, and then falling…she opened her eyes slightly and saw the darkened room…



*Flashback*

Khushi looked around for a way out…The room was dark…but looked very much like an office…”What are you doing!? Let me go!  Will NOTHING stop this foolishness!?”

An enraged voice yelled back at her…”Foolishness!? Loving you is FOOLISH!? Now you listen! If i can’t have you in this life, THEN HE CAN’T EITHER!”

Khushi was pulled roughly forward and pain gripped her shoulders like a vice…”you’re going to be with me!!!!!”

She cried out trying to kick and break away…”be with you!?!?!! I’d rather die! Just let me die!!!”

“Well bitch…here are your two choices…either you die…or Arnav dies!”

Was didn’t want to look into the eyes of this vile person…but she did….”DON’T YOU DARE HURT HIM!”

Shyam became furious…”you care for HIM that much!? After all he’s done to you!?”

“You lied to him! And yes, i care for him that much!”

“then YOU it is…time for your slow painful death…and believe me…if you survive…i’ll be back…” 

Suddenly she felt a strong smelling cloth cover her face and everything went black…

*end of flashback*



Khushi started to cry hard and began hoarsely repeating…”No! Just let me die! No no no!”

Arnav was enraged…”What!? NO! Khushi! STOP!”

He gripped her face in his hands saying, “Khushi! Open your eyes! It’s me! It’s Arnav! Open your eyes!!!!”

That voice.

Khushi froze…

Her eyes stayed closed, “Ar…Arnavji?”

His heart bled hearing her broken plea…”yes…it’s me…i’m here…I’ve been here the whole time…you’re safe sweetheart…open your eyes…”

She opened her eyes and gazed straight into pure heaven…


She let out a harsh whimper and opened her mouth to say something only to have Arnav’s mouth enclose on hers…

She wanted to lift her arms to cling to him but she had no strength…

Arnav held her body tightly to his but kept the kiss soft and wistful…

His gut clenched feeling how frail and weak she was…as their lips parted he heard her say…”how did i get here?”

He moved back looking into her eyes…”I brought you here…I came for you Khushi…”

Her eyes filled with tears…”y…you did?”

He nodded…” i searched for you for hours…i’ve never been more scared in my life…”

Khushi started to cry furiously…”No! You should have left me! YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME! He said i needed to die!!!”

Arnav’s murderous rage returned…”I won’t let anything happen to you…You’re MY WIFE…”

She looked up at him angrily…”NO! six months ends today…”

Arnav’s eyes collided with hers…”yes… Six months ends today. But forever starts now!” and his eyes burrowed into hers again…

Khushi felt so lost…so scared…”I don’t understand…what are you…”

“I LOVE YOU. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. AND I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO…”

She was mezmerized … He DID love her… But no sooner had she thought that…..she remembered Shyam’s threat…”i will be back…”

She let out a scream and started to writhe and break away ….”No….NO!”

Arnav’s hold was unyeilding as she kept repeating…”I needed to die! It was you or me! IT NEEDS TO BE ME!”

Arnav held her fast saying…”WHAT?! Khushi? What did you say!?!?”

Khushi’s strength was failing…


When she started to gasp for air, Arnav screamed for the doctors…

They quickly ran in and had to sedate her…

Arnav was beside himself with fear and worry…”What’s wrong? Is she?”

“She’s okay. We’ve just given her a mild sedative to calm her…something quite  dramatic must have happened to her to evoke this behaviour…her heart was beating rapidly in panic…”

His mind was howling…Safe, I need her safe…


“I want to take her home.”

“sir, she’s not 100% stable yet…she can’t leave like this…”

“Then i need a bigger private room where i can stay with her…her life is in danger…”

The doctors exchanged glances, “…we knew there was something wrong…we guessed as much because she has bruises on her arms and her breasts…”

Arnav now turned animalistic…”WHAT!? SHE HAS WHAT!? Why didn’t you fucking tell me!”

“Sir, you have been highly volatile… We gave you the privacy that you wanted…you ushered us out when possible…all you wanted to know was if she was still breathing…”

Arnav felt like he’d been shot through the heart…


All this time he’d been thinking of himself, of how HE wouldn’t cope without Khushi…


He wanted her to be okay, just for HIM…


Collapsing into the chair beside her bed, he tried to speak, “please forgive me…you and the doctors here have been marvellous and I haven’t shown much respect for that…listen carefully, my wife was kidnapped and left to die out on the water…the man that did it, is the one that called here… Now please, have you told me everything…was…was she?…” he started to choke up…

The doctor rested his hand on Arnav’s shoulder, “…no, she wasn’t raped, but she was molested. We knew it was something serious. And we knew it wasn’t you. You have been the most devoted husband here we’ve ever seen here…but this morning we alerted the police just to inform them for her condition…”

“You did?! thankyou so much, I can give you the kidnappers name, any information to help…”


Arnav felt better knowing the police were aware of the threat against Khushi…

“We will arrange a private secure room for her and yourself…please excuse me now…”

Arnav fell to his knees next to Khushi’s bed and wept…his mind retelling what the doctor said, “no, she wasn’t raped…she was just molested…”

His eyes shot open…


His head screaming…


“JUST molested!? Like i’m supposed to be GRATEFUL it was just that!?!?! No bloody way! That bastard had his rotten hands on MY WIFE!”

Arnav stood up and stared down at her…


Holding her arm gently, he carefully pulled Khushi’s sleeve up….

Dark green/blue marks covered her upper arms and shoulders…


“Oh no…Khushi…I will make him pay for this…”

He ran his fingers gently across them, hoping they’d disappear at his touch…

Nervously, he lifted her loose Hospital shirt…


His heart thudding so loud he thought he’d go deaf from the booms…

His heart stopped at what he saw…

A combination of captivating beauty and horrendous unsightliness…

His mind was ablaze with loving emotion…”My God…She’s beautiful…she’s perfect…”

Which then turned to wild, revengeful mania…”HE. DID. THIS. TO. HER!!!!!!!!!!”

Her chest was reddened.

Bruises almost everywhere.

Her darkened purple nipples swollen.

Distinctive hard pressed hand prints.

His heart was so deeply in pain he just wanted to rip himself open and pull it out…

He lifted his hand to touch her, but flinched back…his tears blurring his vision…

He sat next to her on the bed…

Leaning in, he placed exceedingly soft kisses on her breasts…so light, barely touching…his tears now dripping onto her skin, their salt batheing and soothing…

He trailed his mouth to her nipple and placed his open mouth gently over the tender tip…ever so lightly moving his tongue along…

He repeated on her other breast, trying with all his heart to convey his love for her….

Arnav felt her move and give a soft  whimper…

There was nothing sexual about his actions…


He wanted to kiss away her pain…


He wanted to gently remove Shyam’s aggression and replace it with his devotion…

He slowly lowered her top and held her hand  …

His kept  his eyes on her…looking her up and down…memorizing her…

The moment his gaze roamed back to her face, he saw her eyes flicker open…

……………….

Arnav watched her closely …

Wanting to rush to her, but didn’t want to frighten her…

She could hardly move without aches and pains…

But the second her eyes opened she saw him…

Her voice was coarse and husky…

“A…Arnavji?…”

His heart took over and he was at her side in seconds…

“I’m here…I’m here Khushi…I’m here…please don’t be afraid…”

Khushi was still under the effect of Diazapam…


She felt dizzy…


She wanted to thrash and scream…


She wanted to act out the panic she was feeling…


But her whole nervous system was sedated…

“Ar…Arnavji…Why did you have to come for me…?” She said brokenly…

Arnav took her hands in his and said, “I love you…I am in love with you…I am so sorry i didn’t get to you sooner…”

Khushi tried to shake her head fast…”no…no…no…I had to…”

He covered her mouth with his fingers…”do not say that…DO NOT say that…”

Her tears started flowing again…”I hoped…I wished…”

“I heard! I heard you say that I wouldn’t come for you…And I came! I will always come for you!  I…I…”

Khushi’s loud crackling sob interrupted him…

“…you think i was saying that in despair because i thought  you wouldn’t come?” her cries becoming harder to control…”I was saying that because i thought you WOULD COME, and I kept repeating in HOPE  that you WOULDN’T …”

Arnav felt sick with shock…”What!? You were hoping to die out there!?”

Khushi tried to push him away saying, “It HAD to be me!”

Arnav wanted to knock those words out of her…

He controlled his breathing and carefully lifted her to sit up…


She tried to resist but her strength was gone…

“Shhhh, shhhh, you’re safe with me…Khushi…sweetheart…can you tell me what happened…?? If you can’t tell me yet, i understand, but please stop saying that you had to die…i can’t handle the thought of anything happening to you…”

Khushi’s eyes held so much pain…

Arnav was enraged…


How could anyone hurt her like this…

Guilt flooded through him…he’d hurt her. 


He’d hurt the woman he loves…

“Khushi, i’m sorry…sorry for how i’ve treated you…i’ve been so blindly wrong…but please believe me, i won’t hurt you again. I WON’T. I need to protect you, i need to love you…my heart won’t let go of you…”

In a trancelike state, Khushi finally spoke…”it had to be me or you…he said i had to make a choice…” her voice now being choked by tears…”it had to be me Arnavji…it had to be…it had to be slow and painful…but you…why did you come for me…now he…he will…..”

Arnav huddled her closer to his body…his touch on her was so gentle…but his body vibrated with brutal fury…

Khushi ready his body language…she whispered, so softly…”no…don’t do anything…please Arnavji…he…he will kill you…”

Without bothering to whisper, Arnav answered, “Better me than you,  sweetheart…I will never let ANYONE hurt you…”

Khushi shook with fright…”no…NO…let it be me! I couldn’t bare anything happening to you! No no please!”

Arnav was about to explode with emotion…anger, fear, desire, possessiveness, protectiveness…

He cupped her face quickly and kissed her.

Khushi’s lips parted in surprise.

Strong Desire filled him as he felt her soft, open mouth under his…but he didn’t delve into her straight away.

Instead… as if gauging the best way their lips to fit together, his mouth moved over hers for a soft exploratory kiss.

Khushi’s felt her mind get transported to another dimension…all  pain filled memories were disappearing…


She felt a familiarity of his lips on hers…”but he’s never kissed me before…has he?…”she thought…

Her breath stuttered when he finally slid his tongue into her mouth. 


He stroked and licked and tasted without hurry. 

Without mercy. 


As if kissing her were the end-all, not just the means to the end. 


Arnav kissed the corners of her mouth, outlining the shape of her upper lip and lower swell with an insistent swipe of his tongue. 


He gently and unhurriedly possessed her mouth, and yet his hands never moved from her face…

Slowly and tenderly, their lips broke apart…and so did Arnav…


He couldn’t hold back his tears…”I almost lost you…my God, if that had have happened…Khushi, I love you so much…i can’t believe i almost lost you…”

He clung to her, his intense emotion and vulnerability completely raw and out in the open…

“…you won’t lose me…”

Her words startled him.

“you won’t lose me because you have my heart…you’ve always had my heart…so no matter what happens to me…you will still have my heart…”

“wha…what? w…why are you? What? …Khushi, i’ve acted unforgivably, i’ve hurt you, neglected you…and you…… ” he began kissing every inch of her face…

Finally looking into her eyes…he said…”I love you Khushi…you have my heart, mind, body and soul Khushi! I am nothing without you…”

“I love you too Arnavji…”

As she said that her whole body went limp and she fainted safely in his arms…

“I love you Khushi…and every damn day, I will prove it to you…”

……………..

As Arnav held Khushi close to him, the doctor had come in…

“Doctor, i’m worried, why does she keep…”

“We heavily sedated her, to keep her nervous system calm…that’s why she keeps fainting…plus her blood pressure is still low from the hypothermia…low blood pressure can cause a collapse…We have a bigger, more secure room now available on the next floor up…we can move her now…can you lay her down please?…”

“No, i’ll take her…just take me there…”

Arnav lifted her carefully and followed the doctor… 


He didn’t care how many stares he got, because right now, Khushi was safe and close to him…



…………




When Khushi finally started waking up again, she felt disorientated by her new surroundings…

“…where?…new room?…”…she sat up hissing in pain…

She saw Arnav sleeping next to her on the bigger bed …


“He needs to sleep…or he will get sick…” 

Walking unsteadily to the bathroom, she caught her reflection in the mirror…

Pale.

Tired eyes.

Blotchy skin.

Tangled hair.

She went to stand fully clothed under the shower and used all her strength to turn on the water…


As the heat spread across her aching body, she started to peel her clothes off slowly…


Her mind began narrating what she saw…

scratched legs…

“what? How did that happen?”

Bruised thighs

“how?”

Red marks over her stomach

“welts?”

And finally she ran her hands up to her breasts…


She saw multiple bruises…hand print bruises…purple cracked nipples…


She moved to stand in front of the mirror…


The second she saw herself she became violently sick…


She leant over the sink wretching…eyes closed…her throat burning…gasping for breath…


In shock she turned on the water wanting to make everything disappear…


Fear was squeezing her every nerve…


Grabbing the liquid soap, she started pouring it everywhere, trying to erase what just happened…

Tears were etching down her face as she covered her body in soap and started to scrub…

“Why won’t  these marks wash off!! WHY!” She fell to the floor weeping…

Hot water…

Pain…

And finally… a memory of harsh hands touching her…



*Flashback*

“I don’t care if you’re unconscious Khushiji…i’m going to have you…at least once before all this ends…”

Khushi lay motionless, still under the effect of Ether, as Shyam ran his hands up her legs…gripping her thighs tightly…running his hands higher he lifted her choli…squeezing her breasts hard…pinching her nipples harder…

Khushi started waking and felt immense amounts of pain take over her consciousness…

Once her eyes locked onto her offender she kicked him in the chest, stumbled up and started running, pulling her saree around her tight…all she heard was a sinister laugh following her…

She ran fast trying to decipher her whereabouts…

Her heart hammered as she heard him getting closer…

She ran faster only to stumble and fall, scratching her legs on the hard ground…

She finally came to the edge of a lake…

Trapped.

She turned and saw him. Walking towards her…

“Shyamji stay away! Why are you doing this!? Please stop!”

But he grabbed her arms and yanked her towards a small broken boat…

He threw her in and grabbed her hair looked at her face…”this is where you drift off forever Khushiji…you will regret not loving me…die out here…and just pray that Arnav doesn’t come for you…because if you survive…I’ll be back to finish you…and then him…”

And with one swift kick, Shyam launched the boat out into the darkness of the water…

Alone.

Darkness.



*end of flashback*



Khushi’s eyes snapped open and she let out a Hoarse, shattering scream….




…………





Arnav’s sleep was harshly interrupted by a Khushi’s howl…


He rolled over in a hurry only to find Khushi gone.

Panic engulfed him…

The room was dimly lit but he couldn’t see her anywhere…


He saw the bathroom light on and the door closed…

His eyes went wide with fright as he jumped off the bed lunging for the door…

As it swung open he saw Khushi …

Completely naked…

Huddled in the corner on the bathroom floor…

Being pelted with water…

Crying hard…

He approached her slowly and turned off the water…


Grabbing a towel, he knelt down beside her carefully covering her…

Khushi was crying so hard that she didn’t hear Arnav enter…


All she felt was  a soft towel envelop her and gentle, intimate arms embrace her…

“Khushi…”

She spun around him as her arms encircled his neck pulling him closer…”Arnavji!? Arn…Arnavji?”


He held her closer, “Shhhh, hey…it’s okay…It’s me…Shhhh…”


They held each other for awhile in silence… 


Finally looking up at him, she spoke…her voice raspy and almost unrecognizable…”they won’t come off Arnavji…”


He frowned slightly, “What won’t sweetie…?”


She lifted her arms…”I scrubbed but i still can’t get them off…”

He looked down at her beaten body…


Her skin was redder from the her harsh scouring… 


Arnav’s control was on the verge of shattering, but he knew he had to be strong for her…

“Khushi…sweetheart, will you try and trust me?…”

Khushi didn’t move. 

Didn’t blink. 

Didn’t speak. 

She just stared at him as if surrendering…

Arnav helped her stand and held her body close to his…

Turning on the warm water he moved her body into it’s gentle stream…

She looked up at him and said, “but … You still have your …”

“Clothes on…mmmhmm…it’s not the first time I’ve had water on me fully clothed…” 


He smiled slightly as he remembered when they’d tossed water on each other at his office, “…just be still sweetheart…”

He poured some soap on his hands and proceeded to gently wash her arms…she closed her eyes concentrating on the constant, sure touch of her husband…

His hands moved soft light foamy bubbles over her skin…

on her neck…

on her back…

down her legs and back up again…

He turned her around attentively so that her back rested against his chest…

His hands moved over her stomach and ribcage…


Khushi sighed softly as she felt his slippery soapy hands glide over her body…


His hands started ascending towards her breasts and he felt her body stiffen…


He didn’t stop moving, he just whispered, “It’s okay Khushi…I’m not going to hurt you…ever…I promise…”

His hands gently moved over her breasts…

The last time he touched her, she wasn’t aware, but now she was fully conscious, and this fact made his heart pound like mad…


There was still nothing sexually charged about this, but the fact that she was allowing him access to her body made him all the more possessive of her…

Khushi’s eyes were still closed until she felt stinging pain ripple through her chest…


Khushi’s body shook and she let out a small cry of pain as his fingers lightly brushed over her nipples…”A…Ar…Arnavji…it hurts…”

Arnav felt his insides constrict in agony, but he calmed himself and kissed the side of her neck saying, “I’m sorry sweetheart…but this is antiseptic…and it will help you heal…just breathe…I’m holding you…”

His hands continued to slowly caress  and rinse her, and he felt stabbing aches inside him whenever she twitched in pain.


Finally he wrapped one arm around her waist, and with his other hand, he reached between her legs…


He felt her tense, “It’s okay Sweetheart…shhh…”


Gently parting her delicate folds, he slid his hand across her sex…


His hand didn’t probe her, or attempt to arouse her…


His touch was firm yet mild…

Khushi had never felt so much warmth, and not the warmth from the water, but inner heat…


Her whole body was consumed with Arnav’s love and tenderness…

Arnav turned her around to face him again and his breath caught in his chest seeing how beautiful she was…


He moved her further under the water letting it rinse the remaining suds off her skin and then finally turned off the water…


Picking up a dry towel, he wrapped it around her, careful not to let it graze any sensitive areas…

He lifted her up and took her back to the bed…


Laying her down carefully, he rearranged the pillows behind her…”Just sit there for a moment…”


He stood back up and began to peel away the wet clothes from his body…


For a split second, a new emotion surfaced inside Khushi…


She saw his body, his corded muscles, his intense eyes…


When her gaze hit his, she looked away, her cheeks flushing in color…


Smiling, Arnav quickly pulled on a new shirt and sweatpants…


Sitting down next to her he took her hand, “Here, let me help you get dressed…”


“why did you have to come…”


Her words stopped him…

Arnav lightly brushed the towel along her enflamed skin … “I came because you are mine Khushi…You are my wife…and the love I have in my heart for you frightens even me…and i’ll be damned if I ever let anything happen to you again…”

Khushi’s eyes welled up with tears as she heard her husband talking…


All those months of a fake, misleading marriage…


All the times she started to doubt in love…


All the smashed hopes of having her own perfect prince… 


And now… Arnav….

Unknowingly , She had said his name outloud making him look intently at her…

She was speechless as she cried…


He let his lips kiss away the tears on her cheeks…


Gently lifting her to stand, he helped her put on the hospital gown…and then lifted her back onto the bed, regathering pillows to help her sit straight…

“Why are you doing all this for me?” Khushi asked meekly

Arnav sat down next to her and sighed…”I’ll tell you again…Because I LOVE YOU…”

Arnav just smoothed her hair away from her face letting his fingers linger…

There was suddenly a knock on the door, as a few beeps sounded just before the doctor entered the room…


Khushi jumped slightly, but Arnav didn’t move, his hand still on her face…

“Mr. Raizada, may we speak with you just for a moment…”

Arnav gave Khushi a reassuring look kissed her forehead….


Standing up, he turned to face the doctor..

Khushi tried to listen but they spoke so softly she couldn’t hear them…




……..




“Mr. Raizada, we received another call from a certain man today…I wrote down what he said…” and the Doctor handed Arnav a paper…

 Arnav read  silently…”I will be sending some visitors over to see your wife…they might take her out for a walk…everyone needs fresh air…or just air itself…”

Arnav crumpled the piece of paper and literally ground out his next words…”As I have said before, NO ONE is to be allowed in to see her…UNDERSTAND…?”

…………….

Once they were both alone again, Arnav turned to see Khushi looking up at him expectantly…


“It’s okay…nothing to worry about…” he sat down beside her…”all you need to do is get better so i can take you back home…”

Worry filled her eyes…”I don’t want to go home…i don’t know where my home is…”

Closing the distance between them, Arnav took her hand in his he said, “…Khushi, do you feel safe with me?”

She slowly nodded…

“…then Khushi, your home is wherever I am…”




…………….




That night, Khushi woke up with a fright….

Rain was pounding against the windows…

Lightening shot through the sky followed by  a horrific thunderous roar that boomed all around shaking the foundation…

She sat up fast, her breathing became laboured…

The darkness of the room brought back the memory of the lake…


Total darkness…


Floating…


Lightening…

She caught a quick glimpse of Arnav who was sound asleep beside her…


He’d been extremely devoted to taking care of her…

As Thunder pounded through the sky…Her mind echoed with the impending threat


“you…or him…i’ll come back…you…or him…”

She felt numb with fear.


Feeling delirious, she whispered to herself…”No…not him…no…I have to go back to the lake…I have to…”

Khushi stood up and started walking blindly towards the door, as if in a daze…


She turned the handle…

The door wouldn’t open.

Locked.

She struggled to keep breathing as she pulled and pushed…twisted and turned…

The door wouldn’t move…

She kept trying, her tears now splashing on her failing hands…


Her despairing moans cut through the air like a knife…

Khushi continued her attempt  to break open the door, but froze when she felt Arnav’s left hand circle round her waist and flatten on her stomach…


His right hand covered her hands that were clinging to the door…

“Khushi…shhhhhhh…let go sweetheart…”

“I …I need to…to get out…”

Just then, Thunder struck, and Khushi flinched, moving back against Arnav’s chest, making his palm press harder against her stomach…

Khushi’s hands were now at her sides, gripping onto her clothes…

Arnav spoke firmly but calmly…

“I locked the door because I wanted to keep you safe…from people outside, and from yourself…”

Khushi felt her anger flame up inside her , she spun around glaring at him…”You can’t keep me here! I’m not a prisoner…!!!”

Arnav walked towards her till her back was pressed against the door…


He held onto his calm as he asked…”where were you trying to go…?”

Khushi looked up at him, and Her eyes told him all he needed to know…

“Khushi…You can trust me to protect you…I know it’s hard for you to trust me, but this is about your LIFE! I lost you once, and i’m NOT going to let that happen again…MY life is worth NOTHING without you! Why are you trying to LET him get to you!? To LET him win!? HE WILL NOT HARM ME, AND HE DAMN WELL WON’T HURT YOU!”

Khushi’s mouth parted slightly….her tear-choked voice said, “I…I…was…I was doing it for…for you…”

His heart exploded with love and pain for her…

He closed in on her…until his hard chest was compressed against hers…

“I have to do something I never completed…” his hands came up to her face…smoothing her hair away from her eyes…caressing her cheeks…

Khushi’s mind flashed back to the night of Diwali…

Her hands clutching the material at her sides…

Arnav’s gentle hands on her face…

His lips getting closer…

His breath on her face…

“A…Ar…Arnavji…”

“shhhhh…”

His lips finally found hers…moving softly…

The second Khushi felt his mouth on hers, she held her breath…she felt her body fill with instant warmth…

Arnav spoke against her moist lips…”breathe…”

Khushi could hardly think let alone breathe…

Lightening…

Dark again…

Thunder roared…

Arnav heard Khushi’s sharp intake of breath…

He felt her hands fly up to his chest, grasping tightly…

Lightening…

Eyes locked…

The moment that the thunder crashed through the sky, Khushi  pulled Arnav closer and he slammed his lips on hers…

Hearts beating rapidly…

Lips biting…

Breath mixing…

Arnav held her waist tight, but kept slight distance between their torsos…

Khushi kept trying to get closer, but he only moved back…not wanting to hurt her…

Finally harshly pushing him away…she screamed…”WHY NOW!!! WHY!”

“Khushi? What? What are you saying…”

She moved far away from him huddling herself in a corner…

Arnav followed, but she held out her arm, “NO! DON’T COME NEAR ME!”

He kept walking forward…”Khushi, talk to me…what happened…what’s wrong…?”

Khushi covered her face with her hands…her hoarse cries sent pins and needles through his soul…

“why do you want me now!? Just let me go! You kiss me yet you push me away…i don’t know anything anymore…!!!” she sank down to the floor crying…

Arnav was furious seeing her this way…

His mind reeling with thoughts…”I have to find Shyam and make him die slowly…make him look into my eyes as he stops breathing…draw out his pain for making Khushi feel this way…”

He stance was rigid. 

He couldn’t move. 

He wanted to rush to Khushi. 

He wanted to rush out to avenge her. 

He wanted to yank Khushi against him and make slow love to her showing her EXACTLY how much he wanted and needed her…

Walking slowly towards her he heard her muttering…”I deserve to die…”

He froze.

He could no longer stay calm. 


He could no longer hear words like that come from her mouth…

Arnav sped to her and hauled her to her feet…

“DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT AGAIN! EVER! DO YOU HEAR ME!!! You think i have only JUST started wanting you!? You think it was FUCKING EASY to keep my distance from you just now!!!!!!!! You are HURT! I didn’t want to hurt you more! I am going to kill Shyam for making you believe all this rubbish about yourself!”…

He took a deep breath as he held her gaze…”I’ve tried ‘calm’…I’ve tried ‘careful’…but if I have to become ASR in order for me to keep you safe then, so help me God, I WILL!

…………..

Khushi looked at Arnav defiantly…”You think, ‘Arnav  Singh  Raizada’ scares me!? Well he doesn’t! I know what I need to do…and Arnav Singh Raizada won’t stop me!”

Her eyes were determined, full of fight and terror.

Arnav disappeared…

ASR emerged…

Arnav’s calm, loving presence vanished…

He roughly picked Khushi up and threw her on the bed…

She swiftly turned to look at him…

Her hair splattered all over her face…

“You are going to stay here. I will not allow you to hurt yourself. I will not allow you to leave. You didn’t want to be a prisoner here? Well too bad. Because you are now! I know how to protect you. And i’m damn well going to do it.”

He turned and walked to the couch that was near the door…sitting down, he looked at her saying…”And YOU, Mrs. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada…can’t do anything about it…”

Arnav opened his laptop and stared at the black screen…

Khushi was dumbfounded…

She was angry…

She was hurting…

Tears unstoppable, she lashed out, “HOW DARE YOU! You CAN’T keep me here! I want to leave!”

Arnav kept his concentration on his computer…

Khushi walked up and slammed the lid down hard…

Arnav stood up feeling immense amounts of fury pulse through him…

He marched over to Khushi and his voice terrified her more than his close proximity…

“Get back to bed. Stay there.”

“No.”

He picked her up yet again and put her down on the bed with a thud…

“You’re going to do as I tell you!”

“No!”

“Khushi…here are you two choices…”


Khushi froze…

Two Choices…

She’d heard those words before…

From Shyam…

The words “two choices” echoed through her head…panic and pain filled her whole body…

The next thing Khushi heard was terrifying…

Two voices over lapping each others…

Shyam’s and Arnav’s…

“Either you stay here willingly…”

(ECHO)

“Either you die…”

“Or i force you to stay here…”

(ECHO)

“Or Arnav dies…”

Khushi’s eyes widened with alarm…

She was so confused…

She no longer knew where she was…

She didn’t know what was going on…

All she knew was that she had to protect Arnav…

She flew off the bed…

Her eyes now blinded by tears…

She ran into Arnav and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt angrily…

“I TOLD YOU BEFORE SHYAMJI!!! DON’T YOU DARE HURT HIM!!!!!”

Arnav’s lips parted in shock as he held her gently…”w…what?” 

He saw her mentally reliving something…

The panic that filled him was phenomenal, and he spoke quickly…

“Khushi? Khushi…it’s Arnav…Khushi, nothing has happened…you’re safe…you’re here with me!”

Khushi’s eyes were closed tight as she started pummelling  Arnav’s chest with her fists saying…” I DO care for him that much! And i DON’T care what he’s done to me in the past! DON’T YOU GO NEAR HIM! DON’T!!!”

He felt like he was going to combust…

Arnav quickly caught both of her hands and pulled them harshly behind her back and gripped her wrists with one hand…

His other hand grabbed the back of her head, and turned her to face him…


When she resisted he pulled her hair abruptly…

Her eyes were still closed and she was shaking with fright…

“KHUSHI! OPEN YOUR EYES DAMN IT! Look where you are! Look who you’re with!”

She started to shake her head, but he clenched her hair tighter making her cry out…

Arnav moved his face closer and said very firmly…”Open.Your.Eyes.”

Khushi’s eyes flickered open and tears started pouring out…

Her shocked and despairing expression ripped Arnav’s heart apart…

“Arnavji?”

He nodded…

“I…I…he wanted to hurt you…he…touched me…i don’t know how much…I…I wasn’t awake…He…He said that if i survived…He’d be back…I…I…” and her speech left her…replaced by gut clenching sobs that racked her whole body…

He felt all her strength leave her body as she fell against him, breaking down…


Her cries tore at his soul…

His own emotions threatened to shatter but his desperation to protect Khushi compelled him to remain strong…

Fear spiralled through him…


The severity of Khushi’s confusion filled him with alarm…

He quickly held her back to face him…

“Khushi!? Khushi stop! Stop crying!”

She shook her head furiously, her tears flying off her cheeks…

“Khushi! You need to stop! You’ll make your heart speed up and I don’t want anything to happen to you! Please calm down!”

“NO! I can’t take it!” She saw Arnav’s arms still around her…”LET ME GO!”

“NO…Khushi please stop this or I’ll…”

“YOU’LL WHAT!? Break up my sister’s marriage? Throw my sister out?!…” she stopped moving…”you…you’d throw her out…”

Arnav’s could no longer hold back his emotions, and tears were now spilling over…”no no no Khushi…I wouldn’t do that…that was always just an empty threat…i never…”

Khushi tried to fall to her knees in front of him, but Arnav held her up…


Her sorrowful eyes met his equally tormented eyes…

“…pl…please don’t do anything to my Jiji…please!” she tried to grip Arnav’s shirt but her strength was gone…”please…I’ll do what you ask…” 


“Khushi, calm down! Khushi, I love you! I will NEVER do anything to hurt you!”


She looked over at her hospital bed…”I’ll stay here…just please don’t hurt my sister…please…please…pl…”

And Khushi fainted in his arms.


He couldn’t speak…

He could hardly breathe…

Lifting her carefully, he held her close to his heart…

The words “nothing for herself” echoed in his mind…


His thoughts were running rampant…”she was willing to die to try and protect me…she’s willing to do anything for the happiness of her sister…yet for her?” he moaned in torment as a torrent of tears down poured from his eyes…”How can she forgive me for this… if I can never forgive myself…”

Arnav laid her gently on the bed…

He had to be close to her…

He stretched out on the bed and lay as close to her as he could…

Their body heat colliding…

His face close to hers….he whispered …”Khushi…please…please forgive me…”

……………………

Arnav’s tears were dripping onto Khushi’s sleeping face…

He spoke quietly…

“Khushi…I am so sorry…for all the times i’ve hurt you…I don’t know why anyone would want to hurt you…you’re the most generous and loving person i’ve even known…”

His eyes looked down her body…


She lay peacefully still…


His eyes shut hard…”I don’t want THIS to be the only way you feel peace! You shouldn’t have to sleep in order to escape from everything…You’re safety means everything to me…”

Unbeknownst to Arnav…

Khushi’s senses had woken up…

She heard Arnav talking. ..

She kept her eyes glued shut…

She felt fearful of him, even as she felt comforted by him…

She lay still as stone…her weak, bruised body feeling exhausted…

Too scared to do anything…she listened as Arnav continued…

“When i thought you had died…i…i ran from here…i had never known such emptiness…even when I lost my parents…it doesn’t compare to the despair i felt when you…i felt…felt…..” he groaned angrily…”There are no words Khushi! When i thought i lost you i wanted to die…i didn’t want to face anyone! Nothing was worth living for! I drove to the water…to that same lake, and my heart…it told me that i had to get back to you…that you weren’t really gone…that it couldn’t end this way…that I had a chance to try and seek your forgiveness…”

Khushi listened intently…

She heard her heart beating faster…

Her heart had only ever beaten for one person…

Only ever raced when one person was near…

She opened her eyes, and looked up at him saying…”but you are the one who broke my heart…the one who threatened my sister…you said you hated me…”

Arnav heard her voice and his stomach flipped, but then registering her words, his muscles knotted with tension…

Looking into her reddened eyes he lifted his hand to her face, but she flinched away looking frightened…


His arm withdrew and he closed his hand into a fist in order to keep from touching her…

He spoke, his voice engulfed with remorse and pain…

“Khushi…i know i hurt you…i know i threatened you…” Fury with himself vibrated in his every word…

“but…” Arnav sat up clutching his hand to his heart…”my God Khushi…i’m…i’m so totally  in love with you…everytime i look at you, my heart becomes immobile…my mind  becomes numb…i can’t think, i can’t breathe…it’s your hand on my heart that keeps it beating…i have never, ever felt so much desire for one person…”

Tears silently flowed down Khushi’s face,but her heart and mind felt strangled…


She shook her head slowly…

Arnav became even more desperate…


He leaned in closer to her even though he saw her shrink back in alarm…”No no no, I won’t hurt you…I love you…One chance…Once more…One last chance…Let me be a proper husband to you…i WANT to…more than anything…even if you never forgive me…or never love me…please let ME…let ME love YOU…let me protect you…because i love you…i love you…i love you…”

Arnav finally heard Khushi reply…


Her voice was choked by emotion…”I love you… AND I hate you… I’m so scared of you…and yet  I feel safe with you… You make my heart happy and then you easily break it… You seem to care, but then you PRETEND to love me just to please Anjaliji… I can’t…This is too confusing…This WON’T LAST… I WANT IT TO…BUT IT WON’T…”  her voice finally faded out, taken over by her sobs of anguish…

Arnav lifted her into his arms and cradled her against his chest as she cried bitterly…

His soul felt heavy…

Khushi pulled herself closer to him, but pain tore through her torso making her gasp in pain…

Arnav quickly pulled back…”Khushi? What? What happened?”

The stinging pain had made her eyes fill with tears and she pushed Arnav away from her…

“I…I…am…pain…stinging…” her eyes were clamped shut trying to stay in control…

“Khushi, I’ll get the doctor, i’m sure it’s time for more painkillers…just…just don’t worry, i’ll be right back…right back…”

Arnav touched her shoulder reassuringly and went to the door to call the doctor over…




..




The painkillers had put Khushi to sleep…

Arnav stayed by her side…


He slept fitfully…

Finally he sat up in bed and did some work on his laptop…


He didn’t want to work, but while Khushi slept, it was all he could do to not go mad with worry…


At least he had a distraction…

Khushi started to stir, her moans getting his attention instantly…


She started to kick and cry


Arnav instantly threw his laptop to the floor and tried to wake her…

She only pushed and scratched more…

He climbed on top of her, his knees forcefully holding her hips in place as his arms caught her hands holding them firmly near her head…

Her face tossed from left to right, tears pouring out, moans getting louder at the sudden restraint…

Finally he heard her cry out…”Arnavji…HELP ME!!!!!!!!”




………….



As Khushi slept, her mind was triggering memories…

Regaining consciousness in the boat…

Sharp pains shooting through her…

Shyam’s hands on her breasts…

His fingers pinching her nipples hard…

His hands squeezing her…

Wanting to instantly push him away…

Dizziness impairing her movement…

Her eyes finally gaining focus…

Looking into Shyam’s eyes…

Brutally kicking him in the gut…

Running…

Running…

“I’ll be back to finish you…”

“I love you Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada…”

Running…

“I’ll be back to finish you…”

Running…

The water…

“I love you Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada…”

She tried to run, but couldn’t move, and so her subconscious started to scream…

Scream for the only person who she knew would save her…

“Arnavji…HELP ME!!!!!!!!”




……..



He heard Khushi cry out his name…

He heard her beg for help…

He snapped…

He could see the agony that was ingrained on her face…

He had to stop this…now…

He released her arms, held her head still with his hands, and spoke against her lips…

“I’m here…I’m here Khushi…I am HERE, NOTHING will harm you…”

Their lips were bumping gently against each others…


His mouth moved against hers with every word he spoke …

Khushi’s  had began to thrash and claw once she was released, but now hearing her husband’s voice, her hands froze on his shoulders…

Her legs went limp…

Arnav continued to speak, their lips brushing constantly…

“Khushi….Khushi…I’m here…I won’t let anything happen to you…please believe me….”

As soon as she felt his lips on hers, she knew he was there, knew he’d stop Shyam…

Her hands wrapped around his neck and she pressed her lips closer to his…

Arnav was in shock…


He wanted to kiss her, but he knew she was confused again…


But the last time he pulled away she became hysterical…

Not knowing if this would make things worse or better, he let her kiss him, and he joyed in the feel of her, the taste of her…


Finally her lips broke free from his…

“You’re here?” She said hoarsely

“Ofcourse i’m here Khushi…Where else would I be…? Are you okay?”

Shuddering, she rasped…”He was chasing me! He had his hands on me! I was at the water! Please…please help me!”

Arnav trembled, his entire body was so overwhelmed with rage, panic, fear and love that all he could do was stare at her…

“i only ever wanted you…just you…but i would have willingly died …i knew you didn’t want me…”

The look in her eyes made his heart plummet…


Holding her close, warming her with his body, he said, “I’ve…I’ve always wanted you…needed you…i’m so excruciatingly sorry that I made you feel unwanted…i despise myself for doing this to you…the woman i love…”

Khushi’s eyes averted from his…”you love me?”

“Khushi look at me…” his voice was tender, and he waited until she looked back in his eyes…”I…LOVE…YOU…”

His lips dropped to hers, kissing her softly, not yet willing to take things further, but lingering to taste her succulent lips…

When he withdrew, her eyes were closed and tears were soaking the pillow beneath her head…

“Arnavji…He…he touched me…i can’t stop remembering…it hurt…i…i  wanted to stop him…i was so dizzy…i…”

Arnav could feel how fast her heart was beating…


She was in a panic at the vulgar memory…


Quickly silencing her with a kiss, he whispered…”Khushi…Will you let me try something?”

Her glazed eyes met his and she just nodded…

He didn’t know how this would turn out, but knew he had to do something to try and erase that debilitating memory…




…………..





Arnav took a deep breath…”close your eyes…”

She looked at him, slightly frightened…

He shook his head…”no fear…you’re safe…with me…”

She slowly closed her eyes and bit her lower lip…

Arnav kept his eyes fixed on her face…

He moved his hands down her sides and felt her muscles tighten, felt her body tremble…


“Just breathe Khushi…”

He slowly lifted her hospital shirt…

“Arn…Arnavji…?” 

“shhhh, I am not going to hurt you…I love you…I’m your husband…let ME remove that memory for you…”

Khushi became silent again…

And he lifted her top all the way…


Her naked chest was now exposed to him…

He heard her start to whimper…


Her eyes were shut tight…”I…I have bruises everywhere…I …I look…”

“You are beautiful…shhhhhh…”

He lowered his head and began to kiss every inch of her…


He softly kissed the upper swell of her breasts, moving round to the valley of her cleavage…


His lips and tongue soothing and licking…


He could feel her heartbeat on his tongue and his pulse started to increase…

Pressing open–mouthed kisses to the scented valley between her breasts, he lingered there, his breath hot against her skin. 


Shifting his mouth he circled kisses on the undersides of her breasts, and continued around, his mouth kept getting closer to her nipples but didn’t touch them as he knew they hurt most…


His lips moved higher on her breasts, travelling closer to the tips…

She shuddered, her eyes flew open and locked with his…

Her eyes…

The very first time his eyes caught hers, the barriers that had surrounded his heart for what seemed like an eternity turned to dust.

Heat cascaded through him, scalding his veins.

Emotions throbbed with near violence in his Heart.

As his eyes held hers…he softly said, “this might hurt…but if you want me to stop…just say stop…i promise i will…”

Khushi closed her eyes …

He licked circles around her areola…and heard her whimper as her tips puckered into a tight points…

Khushi’s response to the stinging was to cling to his shoulders…

Arnav placed his tongue on her…he licked her nipple with long, tantalizing strokes of his tongue.

He lingered there, his breath hot against her tender skin as she clutched at his shoulders…

Keeping the pressure of his mouth extremely light, he lowered his open mouth over her entire nipple, he sucked the nipple delicately and flicked his tongue back and forth across the distended tip as Khushi trembled beneath his hands.

He then gave her other breast the same lingering attention, as though he had all the time in the world…

Khushi was almost hypnotized by his soothing display of love…

Her memory of Shyam’s hands being on her was forgotten… 

Now replaced by a deeply ingrained act of husbandly possession…

Arnav mouth watered tasting her breasts…

The first time his lips touched her there it was purely to kiss her pain away…

But now…

Now he was a husband…

An enraged possessive, protector who was adamant to wipe  ANY vile memory from his wife’s mind…

He drowned her stinging nipples with his wet mouth until he no longer heard her hiss in pain…

All anguished sounds had been replaced with sighs of contentment…

Sighs of serenity…

Sighs of pleasure…

He trailed kisses up her neck, pausing after each one to breathe on her damp skin…

His face hovered over hers…”Khushi?” he whispered…

He saw tears running down her cheeks…”no no no…please…don’t cry…i told you to tell me if i was hurting you…”

“you didn’t…i mean…you did…but not right now…right now was…was beautiful…but you…you said…”

Arnav’s jaw tightened, dreading to hear what she was going to say…

“you…I…I thought you…you told me you…you hated me…so many times…so many…” as soon as the words left her lips her body shook with despair as her sobs  sliced Arnav’s heart into pieces…

Holding her by her shoulders…carefully avoiding to press any of her bruises, he lifted her to him…

Shaking her gently he spoke to her…”Khushi…Khushi look at me…”

When she didn’t respond, he shook her harder…”Look at me Khushi!!!”

Her eyes flew open, looking painfully up at him…

His heart clenched in his chest as he continued…”You want to know what i hate??? I hate myself for letting you believe that! I hate myself for speaking those words to you! I hate myself for EVER EVER hurting you…i hate myself for letting that creep near you! I hate myself for every rude thing i’ve done  to you…I told the one and only person who i could NEVER EVER hate, that i hated her…I will never ever stop asking for your forgiveness for this…I don’t hate you…not even when you’re completely insane, crazy, obnoxious, or constantly jabbering…I LOVE YOU… I LOVE ONLY YOU…”

She coudln’t take her eyes off him…

This man who had been the cause of most of the trouble in her life, was now treasuring her life more than his own…

“You…you love me…”

“Yes Khushi…and i know you’re scared, hurting, and confused right now…but what i feel for you won’t ever change…”

Khushi’s eyes started to get droopy…

Arnav lay her back on the bed…

He lowered her shirt… kissed her lips softly and whispered…”Sleep…”

Her head shook…”I don’t want to…every time i do…i have…i have nightmares…”

He positioned himself next to her…lifting her head to slide his arm under…”I’m here… i’m not going anywhere…”

“Please don’t…” Her eyes closed as she fell asleep…

Arnav kissed her forehead…”Never…”




……..



The next few hours passed…

Arnav tried not to sleep…

He didn’t want Khushi to wake up afraid…or wake up and try to leave again….

But laying next to his wife…knowing she was alive…made all his nervous energy seep out of him and eventually he fell asleep…




…………..



Khushi woke up hearing the clapping of thunder…

She sat up with a fright…

Looking around, she saw she was alone…

“Ar…Arnavji??” she called out nervously

No response…

She lifted her aching limbs off the bed and started to look around the room…

Lightening flashed again and she saw the hospital room door…

Her heart constricted in terror …

Through the glass panel, she saw a face…

…Shyam…

Thunder struck fiercely, but not from the sky, from her heart…

She stood frozen to the floor and shook with fear…

Lightening flared across the sky once more…

It lit up the room…

Khushi prayed earnestly  that she wouldn’t see that evil face behind the door again…

As the light cascaded across the room, she opened her eyes…

Khushi let out a deafening scream…

Because now…standing directly in front of her…

Was Shyam…

She staggered back as he veered towards her…

His twisted smile focused on her as he said…”I told you I’d be back…now i’m going to have you…make you fully mine…and then…i’ll finish you…!!!!! “

Khushi shook her head in terror…”no…..NO…YOU CAN’T HAVE ME!!!…..”

“oh yeah i can…i’m going to be your first…and your last…”

“No….NO!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARNAVJI WHERE ARE YOU!??!?!?! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”




……….




Arnav’s senses sprung to  attention hearing Khushi scream…

He quickly shot up and grabbed her to sit up…

She had only screamed once…now she was crying brokenly saying “NO…NO” repeatedly…


His face came close to hers…as he called out to her, “Khushi…Shhhhh….Khushi….”

Khushi felt Arnav’s breath on her, felt his hands on her…

She quickly opened her eyes…

“Arnavji?”

He nodded and brought his hand up to carress her face…

Khushi exhaled in relief and fright as she flung her arms around his neck pulling him close to her…

Arnav didn’t know how much more of her pain he could take


Her torment was killing him inside…

He didn’t know what was the right way to respond…


He didn’t want to take advantage of her, and he didn’t want to neglect her…

She had to be treated carefully, but she also had to be shown safe, protective love…

Arnav held her head softly, and held back his deep desire to hold her close and kiss her frantically…

“Khushi…Khushi tell me what happened…”

She only clung harder to him…

“Don’t let him get me! He said he wants to make me ‘his’…NO!! Please don’t let that hap…”

Arnav snapped and lost the last shred of self-control he possessed. ..

Embracing her waist he pulled her close, grabbed her head and started fiercely kissing her sweet lips. ..

She matched his kiss with a fierceness of her own. ..

He buried his hands in her hair, kissing her like she was his only source of oxygen…

The sensations produced by Arnav’s touch erased every thought in her mind. ..

She rode the tide of emotion that swept her into another world.

Gasping for breath, Khushi’s head fell back and Arnav sucked hard on her neck…

“NO ONE is going to harm you…and I AM YOUR HUSBAND…I will be your first and last…No other man is EVER going to have you in that way…ONLY ME…”

“Ar…Arnavji…please…” Khushi’s tear choked plea broke his resolve…he had to claim her…fully…now…

8 Comments leave one →
  1. ushankitvc permalink
    February 16, 2015 8:15 am

    awesum….so tooouching …beautifullly written….poor arshi…..hate this shyam fr making arshi suffer so much…..continue sooon

  2. ranogill permalink
    February 16, 2015 10:13 am

    just awesome

  3. usha permalink
    February 16, 2015 1:28 pm

    I love you for this,……. Very nicely written…. Please continue soon….

  4. February 16, 2015 3:47 pm

    It was awesome

  5. February 16, 2015 7:23 pm

    Hi Sara

    Thx for reposting but can the complete the ongoing ones as well, I understand u r really busy but it’s just a request.

    Fauzi > >Sunday, February 15, 2015, 7:45 PM -0800 from ~~ Secrets From Vashti Kovac ~~ The Forger Of Heated Beauty : >aussiecowgirl posted: ” >As you all remember,  I rebooted (rewrote and added more story to) “I Feel Nothing”  awhile ago… Well… >I shall also be ‘Rebooting’ the following stories! >I Can’t Let Her Go! >FROZEN >So stay tuned,  and be ready to relive the passion! >And” >

  6. February 19, 2015 7:21 pm

    Wow Fabulous update Do conitnue

  7. yoga1237 permalink
    February 21, 2015 8:00 am

    Superb update……………

  8. March 5, 2015 11:37 pm

    Amazingly written.

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